Ever wonder why a total stranger finds it so easy to tell you their life story. Deepest darkest secrets they’ve never, and probably will never, tell anyone else. It’s anonymity. There is security in knowing you will never see someone again. Most of us carry secrets we would like to share, to get off our chest and be heard, or gauge a reaction to hear an opinion on. Whatever the reason anonymity allows many to drop their inhibitions, and share secret heart felt confessions.
“There are two kinds of secrets, those we keep from others, and those we hide from ourselves.” –Frank Warren
Most experience a life changing event within our lifetime. Triumph or tragedy, the birth of a child or death of a loved one for example. It’s at these times we often take a retrospective look at ourselves and revaluate our worth our ethos and perspectives. Spinal cord injury is without doubt a tumultuous life changing event. While it may sound odd at face value I feel very fortunate in having the insight of that tumultuous experience. People find me easy to talk to and often share with me their most intimate thoughts. In keeping their anonymity I hope these secret confessions of spinal cord injury and wheelchair secrets pictorials convey the heartfelt pure open and honest raw emotion with which they were given.
- I’m surprised how much I miss my legs
- I no longer fear death I fear life
- When we make love I feel selfish
- I like when people stare at me but I hate my own reflection
- I’ve never been kissed it’s not that I don’t want too it’s just nobody else does
- I’m still all woman
Post your secret wheelchair life quotes and secret disability confessions. You can post under an alias name if you like, your anonymity is safe here. If anyone is willing to strip down and send me a clear photo (and what you want written) I’ll add it here as well. I am hoping in one of these ways you will feel comfortable enough to share your secret feelings thoughts and desires.
Life in a wheelchair raises many deep emotional thoughts and feelings regular people never have the benefit of hearing or have to contemplate. Often partners’ friends and lovers of wheelchair users have secret questions and thoughts they don’t feel comfortable asking. You don’t have to be a wheelchair user or disabled. I’d love to hear your secret thoughts and I’m happy to answer any questions I can. A quote from the heart is a very precious treasure, I will so greatly appreciate your responses.
-Graham
Don’t think they’re staring because you’re in a wheelchair. Think they’re staring because you’re so good looking!
(Quote from my physical therapist who really though I was, even though I laughed at the thought, but the MINDSET works!)
I am afraid that I will not find someone to completely love me.
Awsome pics… i do identify with the third one… i always had that feeling when having sex with my ex… i could come… he couldn’t. Not easy for the mind to dismiss such fact. Nice website :)
I’m so glad I found this site, I’ve had a place in my heart for disabled / SCI women for years and years, and the photos here… well, they’re all beautiful, esp. #3. I am a loving, caring, educated, able bodied man.
Mark: I edited your comment. We are not a disability dating website.
I dont understand what he gets from sex when he cant feel it
My fiance is a parapelegic and it is very interesting but fun in the bedroom.
Sex is sex, but when you have love, feelings can run through all parts of the body. And when you have a good open lines of communication foundation, you’ve got it all. First hand, I know this. I dated my fiance in high school before he was paralyzed. I loved him then and I love him more now because he has become the strongest man I know.
my fiance is in a wheelchair……… he makes me stronger…….. he is more independent than i am…. he is the most loving person i know……. and the sex……. wow…..
So when guys look at me when I am with him and I know that they are thinking ” why is she with him?”
it hurts….. deeply….. if they only knew that the chair beneath him has made him so much stronger in ways that we will never understand
I have always been interested in paraplegic women and now at 21, I am disappointed to have never met one my age. I know that there are wheelchair women out there, like the one in the last picture, who feel like nobody wants them because they are disabled and I DO. How can I meet handicapped women my age. Does anyone have any advice of any sort?
Blez, see comment #5 above.
Yeah, I’ve tried those disability dating sites. They are a scam. They let you get started for free then to do anything you need to pay. Thanks for the suggestion though Graham. Thanks, and if you have any other suggestions let me know. Blez
Oh My God, i have been canvassing the internet for about three years and i dont believe i found the answer hear, i have a disabled boyfriend who i would walk to the end of the wold and back for.he is super generous and so comfortable in his skin its amazing! Anyways i have been looking for ways to make sex as pleasurable for him as he makes it for me and every time i ask he says he gets so much pleasure knowing he gives me so much pleasure (blushing) of recent am starting to fell selfish, like am the only one getting all the fun and its starting to put a strain on our relationship, i love him to death and would like to do something for him too, i would like to give him as much pleasure as he does me….. is their anyone out there paralyzed from the chest below with some pointer?
Hi Soft Voice, if you have not already, you may find our wheelchair sex article and comments worth reading. A sexually active quadriplegic myself with no sensation from chest down I have an insight into what your man is saying and it’s encouraging to hear, I thank-you. I commend him for his bravery and selflessness. It’s a very difficult thing for high level quads to let go of that security but OMG when they do buckle up, it’s one hell of a ride.
Letting go of your own inhibitions, hang ups, your – self is equally difficult. I can tell you first hand, the more you genuinely please yourself, the more pleasurable and satisfied your partner will “feel.” So throw your head back and let him know you are pleased, moan and scratch him from shoulder to waist. The more you can convey your pleasure the more satisfied he will be. After all, that’s what it’s all about for most quads, we get off on pleasing our partners.
Depending on his nature a hands on public display of, “I can’t wait to get you home” also goes over well. Quadriplegics are very visual, a wink, a cheeky thrust of your hips from accross a crowded room, will have him thinking. Foreplay becomes more important as men learn what women have known for years, great sex begins in the mind hours before the act.
Stay genuine as quadriplegics can often sense when someone is being fake and they may take it onboard as their own inadequacy. Fake orgasms are a quadriplegics secondary insecurity in sexual intercourse. If a wheelchair sex partner cannot achieve a sustainable erection or female sufficient lubrication, tell them so. Be innovative, give a creative solo show of what turns you on, and how you get your own rocks off. Honesty is quintessential to a long-term relationship with anyone, especially wheelchair users.
Thanks so much Graham, that was very insightful, will look up the article as well. God Bless you.
you soft voice
i’m a T4 para, chest down, and an active lover, to active if you ask my G.F.
my advice to you, enjoy it and don’t be afraid to experiment with the senses. there’s allot more to good sex than feelings of the groin, sight, sound, touch, attitude, desire.. Talk dirty, put on show, use all parts of the body, face, hands, chest, voice, mind. Be open with your lover and he will open up to you and you’ll find a whole new world..
and believe him when he tells you that he enjoys watching you get pleasure, I like to leave the lights on too :)
BLizz here I am ..
There was an amazing programme on Australia’s ABC Radio National which was a story about sex and disabled people. This guy was in his 50s and had a degenerative condition which really had taken a hold over his physical capabilities. The documentary gave first hand accounts of how exceptionally special sex is.
Firstly, I agree with some of the academic literature, and the story I’m referring to – of a ‘disability orientation’. Whilst we may have physical constraints, we seem to be more highly sensitive much more I would argue, than those who do not. Therefore, all these gals who are posting on this site worried they are giving their disabled partners the same pleasure … well consider the ‘disability orientation’ Im talking about… I would argue their sexual experience with you is more than they can describe – in a really good way. So dont feel inadequate!
As for us amazing women, I havent yet read a post by a non-disabled guy with a disabled gal. This rather saddens me. For I think women are more open and sensitive and all those great things, and dont mind ‘imperfections’, yet men seem to prefer the ‘perfect’ woman. Therefore, I am just like some of these amazing women on this post, who are really scared that we may never be loved the way we ideally want to be loved, again.
I am not in a wheelchair, however my wife is. trans-vrs-men lite-is ( sorry i don’t spell to well.) she caught it at 14. she is now 26 and still in a chair. I have read a couple of posts about love. I want all to understand that you are as beautiful as you pose your thoughts to be. think negative and nothing good comes from it. It don’t matter if your in a chair or not. life is life. i meet my wife on yahoo messenger. we dated on line for 2 months be4 we seen each other. dated 2 years married 5 now. don’t be afraid to love. and plz dot think love will not be there. it will be. there is someone for every one. chin up smile and make the most of it.
Sweet JWTAS (would love to know what that stands for, maybe “Just Want Terrific Awesome Sex”?, but I digress),
I thought it interesting that you said “I havent yet read a post by a non-disabled guy with a disabled gal.” You have read Biohazard’s post that appears immediately after yours, right? I love irony… Yes, from what I see most posts involve “able girl/disabled guy” relationships. But that is only because girls are smarter than we are and more likely to see people as they really are. Yes, guys tend to get hung-up on appearance and think that the Barbie Doll fantasy is reality. (Maybe I should apologize for my gender here – yeah, we can be slow but with patience, perseverance and love we are often trainable…) I’m not much for cliches like “Remember there is always somebody for everybody out there”. Speaking just for myself, it’s too cutesy and way too patronizing. But I hope you don’t just write all us guys off. Ok, ok, I know many of us should be but you don’t want to “share your gene pool” (now how is that for a subtle euphemism? I just made it up and I’m kinda proud of it) with those guys anyway. Don’t lower your standards. For what it’s worth, my experience is that having good friends of any gender beats a lousy relationship every time. [Hope you find something in here helpful - if not, just remember that after all it was written by a guy...]
Well, this is about sharing secret wheelchair thoughts after all. I think differently on some things. Firstly I think women care more about looks than men, especially when it comes to self body image. And my logical mind says, we see more girls with wheelchair guys because the majority of wheelchair users are men. Yet look at our gallery, 1500 beautiful wheelchair girls vs 100 wheelchair men.
It’s no secret I know hundreds, possibly thousands of wheelchair users. Many of the women are drop dead gorgeous, and most of them have able bodied boyfriends. My colleagues and friends pre/post wheelchair have always been majority male. We go to bars, fishing, motor and other sports events. Typically men frequent these places in larger numbers than women. On the other hand I went to a Bon Jovi concert and OMG, I was just about the only guy there (it was awesome lol).
Clearly, there are many dynamics involved in what we see around us, including our attitude. I totally agree with JWTAS ‘disability orientation’ theory. And I dare say the reason Biohazard has a great woman in a wheelchair is because of his positive attitude, to smile and make the most of it.
PS. We are still accepting photos with your secret wheelchair thoughts.
For JWTAS /
I have been searching unsuccessfully for information on the concept “disability orientation” you mention. Help would be appreciated. //
For Graham /
I am struck by your statement that women care more about looks than men while I suggest that the reverse is true. I base my belief largely on my personal experience – from the very first moment we met, my attractive, intelligent wife was unfazed by my awkward body. I only need glance in a mirror to confirm that she didn’t marry me for my movie star good looks.
Yes, I greatly enjoy perusing the gallery. As I once commented, whether she be walking or wheeled, a babe is a babe is a babe. In many photos it is obvious that the woman is deliberately using her wheelchair as a means of showing how comfortable she is with herself and to emphasize her beauty and allure. Now THAT is sexy.
For any woman /
I offer this suggestion – If you are a woman who believes that others find you unattractive solely because you are using a wheelchair, hook up with a friend with a camera and ask them to take some provocative or outright sexy photos of you. Relax, drop the inhibitions, have fun. Use the gallery photos as examples if you’re not sure how to start. (It would probably be more fun if the photographer is a guy.- just a thought.) Didn’t know you looked that good, did you? And please don’t forget to send the photos to Graham to add to the gallery.
For Graham /
I mentioned your Bon Jovi comment to my son. He is presently checking out their tour dates and trying to dig up the money for tickets…
lmfao@WW, I dated a smokin’ hot nurse for ten years. She bought tickets to Bon Jovi with a bunch of nursing friends only to wind up in hospital with appendicitis. I took her nurse friends, who were sexy as, and they played up on me big time. This was pre wheelchair life when I was a super fit, tanned, blonde haired surfer. It was funny to see the reactions to having four sexy babes hanging off of me. I felt like Bon, if only for a moment. I still have some Bon Jovi on my playlist and smile when it kicks in. Tell your son it helps to look like Bon Jovi, guess that lends to my women more asthetic findings.
Where is your photo and secret wheelchair thoughts WW?
Well to JWTAS I’m another able bodied male who dated, married and started a family with a paraplegic. I can say with all certainty that looks did first attract me to her but after I found out she was a para ( yes I really didnt know although i did think it strange she always sat in her car) i would say that her personality and willing to over come what most able bodied people would think impossible. We have been together for 7 yrs and married for 5. And at times I wish I could have half her strenght. And I honestly can say that I never saw her as “the girl in the wheelchair” I saw her for her exceptional beauty and her strenghts. And the sex WOW it is by far and without a doubt the best that I have ever had. I also will go as far to say that it is the most honest sex that i have ever had mainly because she cant fake the muscle contractions of an orgasm.
Hey all. Just checking out this part of the site. I had my son 22 years ago and raised him alone. I started having MS symptoms 6 months after he was born and due to unforseen incidents and lack of knowledge, I have been wheelchaair bound since December 2008. I have not been meeting any “normal” men. I like people and enjoy talking with them but somehow the only ones interested are: (I haven’t had sex with my wife in 15 years and am looking for someone to hsve sex with on a regular basis)(I’m bipolar, suffer from depression and don’t like taking my meds all the time, don’t have a car or a job and am on disability because I have a bad ankle from a fall of a roof) (went on 3 dates with a guy, lots of e-mails and phone calls and never even got a kiss on the cheek.
I like people but at this point in my life, I would really enjoy the male companionship, i.e. dates, hugs, kisses and maybe even more but not marriage ot living together at this time.
Too independent after all these years and don’t want to give that up. I don’t need a man to be happy but would enjoy some of the perks. Everyone I know has someone who cares, male or female, and I feel left out. Most of that because wheelchair accessibility is a big issue.
I don’t want to always be the driver and haven’t been able to meet any interested or interesting single men. Don’t want to do the on-line dating thing either.
Oh well, just needed to vent today. Tired and wish i had a man to be around or available sometimes.
photo #3
I feel like he works so hard to pleasure me, but there’s nothing I can do to make HIM feel good. It’s been two years together and every time we’re intimate, I can’t help but feel inadequate because there’s nothing, it seems, I can do for him.
I have had the pleasure of being both recipient and giver, once able bodied now a quadriplegic. I understand the weight of what you are saying Maria, the unchangeable burden. I find the more you love someone the more you want to give. Nothing makes me happier than pleasing the woman I love. It is it’s own reward. It is not about me, the more pleasure I give to her, the more accomplised a lover I feel. That is to say, the more she enjoys sex, the more I enjoy sex, so indulge your passions.
@Maria- my man is a high para with a complete injury and technically can’t feel below the waist but there are so many ways that he does experience sex that it blows my mind. Men are more than just their penis, contrary to popular belief. I’m sure your man enjoys more things about you than he can describe. To say that you can’t pleasure him or that it is “work” for him to please you sounds like you might be in a rut or don’t feel sexy and confident in your womanhood at the moment. Many women feel bad if they can’t get the man to climax but this situation is substantially different because you can’t trust the penis as a telltale sign of arousal. Guess what? You have to take his word for it. If he says he enjoys it, believe him! Let him enjoy sex in his own way and you in yours. Your guilt will only remind him of his challenge instead of celebrating the closeness you do share. A person doesnt always need to climax to enjoy sex. There are cerebral elements to enjoy. The two of you can figure out ways to be creative. Enjoy all five senses to the best of your abilities! Scrap the guilt. Indulge.
This is off topic (I apologize). I do not have a spinal cord injury; a few months ago, I started doing research for a short story I want to write with a female protagonist who has a complete T10 spinal cord injury. After reading 5 textbooks on the subject, roaming the internet, and finding places like this, I just have to say, I have been inspired by all of you. You simply amaze me.
I love haveing sex i am a c4 the pill is the best thing n the word so if u dont have thim git thim
Jerry what pill are u talking about i would love to know
My partner has a quote and I love it: The two heads are joined… He gets enormous pleasure from giving me pleasure, and my god he knows how to give it, and until we got together, about 10 months ago, having known each other since before his injury 12 years ago, he hadn’t had penetrative sex with anyone, I am the first, and that makes me feel damn special!
The only perfect woman is the one that will love you as much as you love her. As far as being hung up on looks goes, thats crap, personality and attitude wins every time in the long run. There is an old saying in these parts (N.E. Texas) that “easy on the eyes” can be damn hard on the ears
I have fallen deeply in love with an amazing man. I worried at first about how I was going to please him sexually and did feel guilty when we made love, but we are having so much fun experimenting with different things and have experienced many “firsts” together. Each time we discover something new that we both enjoy it brings us much closer together. I wouldn’t change one thing about him and we have many more exciting new experiences ahead of us and I can’t wait.