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wheelchair-lovers-hands

Quadriplegic Love Lasts

Quadriplegic love lasts and I was about to find out just how long. It was May10th 1999 and I had only been working as a taxi driver for a few days when at my local rank several drivers wandered over to introduce themselves. Shortly afterwards the passenger door of my car opened and a man got in. “Hi, I’m Steve, hope you are settling in ok.” I looked into the sexiest blue eye’s I had ever seen and fell in love at first sight. Steve was flirty and easy to talk to. After chatting for a while he gave me his phone number and told me to call him anytime, if I needed anything, or even if I didn’t. He said we should grab a coffee back at the garage where everyone went once the night’s work was finished.

There was just one problem. I was married and so was he. Neither of us happily, as it turned out. Additionally some weeks later I discovered I was pregnant. My husband was a violent man who thought nothing of repeatedly raping me. On top of that Steve was already seeing a girl. None of this stopped us growing closer and spending time together whenever we could. Long after everyone else had drifted home from the garage Steve and I would still be there talking. While at work he would look out for me by removing drunk passenger’s from my car if he didn’t think I would be able to deal with them, and was just generally my all round protector.

wheelchair taxi

I knew that our feelings for each other were growing stronger. One night we happened to pull into the garage at the same time to fuel up during a shift. We went in to pay for our fuel and walked out onto the forecourt together. As I went to walk towards my car, he grabbed my hand, pulled me into his arms, and kissed me. I could feel the heat from his body as I surrendered completely to the embrace. In that instant, I knew the feeling’s I had for him were reciprocated.

Steve had to travel 150 miles to work and stayed with family, or friends in the area. A few times he even stayed with my husband and I. As I mostly keep my marital problems to myself it wasn’t until years later Steve would come to tell me he always had a bad feeling about my husband. He knew something was not right between us and could see there was no love.

Steve’s own marriage was in bad shape. During work one night he picked up Kathy, an old girlfriend from his teenage years. He had pretty much separated from his wife so began dating her. As soon as the relationship began he realized it was not going to work. He wanted out but was worried about hurting her as Kathy was in a job that had a time limit on it and she was clinging to him as a savior.

The Game Plan

I took a phone call late one night towards the end of August. “Sarah, are you busy babe? I need to talk to you. It’s kind of urgent.” I replied, “No Steve, I’m at a rank and it is dead quiet. Where shall I meet you?” “Garage, fifteen minutes.” was the reply. I was there in ten, parked my car and got into his. He drove us out of town to a quiet area and began to talk.

Steve explained how he wasn’t sorry about the fling with Kathy, as he had ended his marriage, and that he missed his two son’s. He felt things with Kathy were going nowhere but she kept talking about their future. He wanted out and didn’t know how. I told him there was no easy way and pointed out how during the fling he had neglected work and his friends. He needed to get a grip on things and the relationship would naturally fizzle out. I think deep down we both knew the real reason it wasn’t working out with Kathy.

We talked for several hours that night. Steve knew the thing with Kathy had to end, he knew what he wanted, and I knew what I wanted too. I would have to end my, very unhappy marriage, and try to escape it to be free. Steve was the first person to feel the baby I was carrying move in my belly, everyone assumed it was his, and that we were already seeing each other. Someone had told his estranged wife we already were, but we didn’t know who.

Steve started working more, and things began to get back to normal. He was desperately trying to extract himself from Kathy’s grasp but she kept telling him she would fall apart if he left. He struggled with the guilt, and his ever increasing feelings for me. On the 21st of September, it was Steve’s older brother Mark’s birthday. Kathy, Mark and his girlfriend Louise, plus another driver and his girlfriend all went out to a local pub/club. I drove them to the venue.

No More Secrets

As they got out of my car Steve said I should get there 20 minutes earlier than they had asked me too, and text him when I got outside. So I did, and two minutes after I sent the text, Steve came outside alone and got into the front seat. He pulled me into his arms, kissed me passionately, and said to me, “Right, I’m going to tell her it’s over, tonight, I can’t take it anymore. Sarah, it’s you I want, and if I have been reading this right, I know you feel the same.” I looked at him, “Steve, you know I do, I just didn’t know if I should say anything.”

We did everything but make love right there in the car. Only because there wasn’t time, I wish there had been, no one had ever made me respond the way he did that night without actually having sex. I had never wanted someone so much in my life. He wasn’t put off by me being pregnant. He told me I was incredibly sexy, and he wanted me, so badly, but he had to end it with Kathy first. We arranged to meet for breakfast/lunch the following day. I figured I would tell him everything about my marriage then, and how scared I was of my husband.

I dropped everyone off home, Steve and Kathy last. I got out of the car to say goodnight and he hugged me like he never wanted to let me go. I saw the realization on Kathy’s face, she knew what was coming, and she knew why. She was slim, kind of pretty, younger than me, and a professional stripper. She knew she was going to lose Steve to a married, pregnant, taxi driver. It had been raining heavily on and off most of the night, so after getting me to promise I would drive home safely, and me telling him not to do anything stupid, he promised to call me the next day.

I drove home to my very drunk and unpredictable husband. He was still awake when I arrived. He looked up at me from his chair, “Dropped your lover and his bird off have we?” I looked at him, “George, it’s over, I don’t love you. I want a divorce. Steve isn’t my lover but I can’t do this anymore. I can’t lie about how I feel and I don’t want to. I want a divorce because I want to be with Steve and he wants to be with me. I’m sorry, but there it is.” He freaked out, “I knew it, you’re fucking him aren’t you, that baby is his, isn’t it, that bastard slept in my house, drank beer with me, and all along you and him were fucking each other behind my back! Well, he can have you, I don’t want you, after he’s had you, dirty little slut!.” And with that he stamped off to bed, after about half an hour I followed him, and slept, not very well.

The Accident

At 7.45am my mobile phone was ringing. I woke to a voice on the other end asking who I was, and explaining, “This is Paul, Mark’s twin brother, where is he, it’s urgent.” Fear gripped me. I knew something bad had happened to Steve. “What’s happened, its Steve isn’t it. Tell me what’s happened!” His reply will never leave me as long as I live. “Yes, he’s been in a car crash, it’s not looking good. I need you to find Mark and get him to hospital quickly, may not be much time, I’ll keep ringing around, just get there quick, and safely, ok?”

tetraplegic crash

I was dressed in a shot, my heart pounding, crying and praying to who I don’t know. George woke up, I told him what had happened, told him I was going to the hospital and I would be as long as it took. He watched me in silence as I finished dressing and ran out of the bedroom.

When I arrived at Mark’s house he was waiting for me. “It’s all my fault, I told him he had to move his car. It was across my driveway. He was driving that stupid bloody TVR of Kathy’s. I think they had a row, about you. He’s in love with you isn’t he Sarah?” I just looked at him with tear’s pouring down my face and nodded. “I’ll drive, Sarah you are in no fit state love.” I just totally disintegrated. Louise put her arms around me as I sobbed uncontrollably, and we got into the back of my car. She held me tightly as I wept on the way to the hospital.

On arrival at the intensive care unit of our local hospital we were informed Kathy had died instantly in the crash. The car had hit a massive puddle and slammed into a large oak tree at about fifty mph. She was not wearing a seat belt. We were not allowed in to see Steve. They were too busy trying to stabilize him, so we waited… and waited.

Paul and Mark talked in low voices in the corner. I heard my name mentioned, and Paul say that I should go home, as I was six months pregnant, and they were worried that it was all too much for me. I walked over to them, “I’m not leaving, I’m staying. I want to see him. He needs to know I’m here.” Glancing at Paul, “Does he know, Mark?” Paul looked at me, “Yes, I know, we all knew before he even admitted it to himself. For the last four months all Steve has talked about is you Sarah. Of course I knew, he’s my baby brother after all.”

After what seemed like years, and about a million cups of strong sweet tea, a nurse came to us and asked who was first. Paul and Mark both indicated me, and she asked me to follow her. I went into a bay with four beds. Steve lay in the furthest from the door on the right. His neck brace still on, lines and tubes everywhere, and surrounded by machines. She told me he was heavily sedated but would hear me and know I was there.

She found me a chair but I stood there, next to his bed, more tears came. “Oh Steve, I told you not to do anything stupid and you didn’t listen did you? Oh baby please, hold on, I can’t be without you, not now, I need you.” His eyes flickered open for a second, “Sorry Babe, I’m not dead yet, I’m trying… I love you.” I had to lean in close to hear him, my tears falling on his face. “Don’t cry Babe.” he whispered. I stayed with him, for about half an hour, and then realized that I should let his family in to see him, so I kissed him, on the forehead and promised to come back the next day.

Quadriplegic Ventilator

I walked out into the family waiting room and collapsed into Mark’s arms sobbing uncontrollably and shaking from head to foot. He guided me to a chair, and Louise found a nurse, who took my blood pressure, and asked if I had eaten anything. It was two in the afternoon by then. I shook my head at her, unable to speak. She said someone should take me for food, or home. Louise looked at me and asked which. I said food, so she took me for something to eat, and Mark went in to see Steve.

Turning Points

By the time we came back, everyone but Louise had been in. Steve’s parents had arrived and Steve’s wife was with them. She didn’t want to see him, and caught the train home the next day. Mark and Louise drove me home. Mark promising he would drop my car back later in case I needed the distraction of work. He told me not to worry, Steve was a stubborn git, and he would pull through. At this stage it was unclear what his injuries actually were.

I walked slowly into my flat where I was greeted by my now belligerent husband who without preamble asked if Steve was dead. I shook my head, told him I needed to sleep, and could he keep quiet, and look after Sean, our 2yr old son. He huffed, and agreed. I went into the bedroom, undressed and got into bed. Lying there, on my own, I cried myself to sleep.

I was woken around 10pm by a text message alert, with shaking hands I picked up the phone, and opened the message. It was from Shawn, another driver who worked for the same people I worked for. The text asked where I was, and Mark, and Steve, and how the phone was going mental with work. I sighed and rang him to explain what had happened. I tried so hard not to cry as I explained.

Shawn asked if that was why my car was parked outside Mark’s house, and offered to come and get me, so I could pick it up. I accepted, might seem a little weird, but I didn’t want to be at home with my husband. I had a quick shower and got dressed. George watched as I got ready to leave. “So, what are you going to do if the bastard dies then, stay and dump his kid on me?” I shook my head, “Not now George, drop it, please, I’m going to work.”

That night was busy. Steve’s phone was still diverted to mine, so all his customers were calling for a taxi, and asking where he was. I broke down and wept many times that night. The majority of his customers had seen us together, and knew how he felt about me. They were all very understanding. Mark was at work too, we met up for a coffee at the garage once work was over.

“You ok Egg Belly? Want a coffee?”  “No thanks Mark, Steve get’s me chocolate, I’m off coffee” (Egg Belly was Mark’s nickname for me as my pregnancy began to show). He looked at me, “You’re going to cry again, aren’t you? Come here silly girl, he’ll be ok, and you two will be together.” We sat in the garage, Mark hugging me gently while we chatted about why he felt so guilty about the crash. I have to admit for a short while I also blamed him. And myself because I knew if I had come clean that night in the car park, about how violent John was, Steve would have come home with me. Mark never found out about the violence until much later either.

Hospital Visits

The next couple of months were odd. I went to the hospital every day. On each occasion the nurses giving me a laundry list of the dangers Steve was in. Steve had broken C4-C5, damaged his liver and punctured a lung which was filling with fluid, and blood. He would be paralysed from the shoulders down for life. At the time of the crash Steve was 32 and I was 31.

One day I went to see him, and his mum and dad were there, and strangely so was his wife. She walked up to me asked if the baby I was carrying was Steve’s. I just stared at her, and shook my head no. I later overheard a heated discussion between her and Mark, she told him that she didn’t want him back, and if he lived, I was welcome to him. I didn’t see her again after that.

After a couple of weeks they had to do a tracheotomy, and told Steve he was not allowed to talk. You never tell Steve he’s not allowed to do anything, he talked! I explained that they would do better if they told him that it wasn’t a good idea. His memory at this period was shaky but he was certain that he loved me, and wanted to be with me. After two months he was moved to a hospital further away, a Spinal Unit in Sailsbury. I was by this time almost ready to give birth, and my marriage was dead, the love of my life was paralyzed and my whole life was in ruins.

Tetraplegic Love Lasting

I continued to work, until the day before Kieran was born on the 30th of December 1999. I had an emergency C section with the previous baby, seven weeks early. Unknown to me at the time, this weakens the uterus, so while in normal labour, the uterus ruptured, and I pushed him out by myself. The bleeding wouldn’t stop, the placenta did not deliver, my blood pressure was falling, and somewhere inside me, I knew I was dying.

I panicked as they took me to theater to manually deliver the placenta, the anesthetist was a friend of mine, and I was lying there on the trolley saying Ken, hurry up, I’m dying, please hurry, I don’t want to die, he tried to reassure me but I knew. Several hours later I woke up in intensive care. A male nurse standing by my bed looked at me, and said he knew me, but wasn’t sure where from. I grinned weakly and said Steve’s full name. He said, “Right of course, you’re his girlfriend. I remember now, blimey, he had the girlfriend who died in the crash, you, and a nasty wife.”

I was in the ITU for a week, and in hospital another week. They had to perform a hysterectomy, and were not exactly delicate about how they told me, “You have four children, you don’t need to have any more, we had to do the hysterectomy, or you would have died.” I was off work for exactly eight weeks. When Kieran was three or four months old I went to the hospital to see Steve.

Mark told me they would be ok, and that I needed to get on with my life. I was absolutely inconsolable for months. I couldn’t get over it. Suffering severe post natal depression, the loss of my ability to have more children, and the biggest loss of all Steve, I went and did the most stupid thing ever in the history of stupid. I had an 18 month affair with Mark, Steve’s older brother.

Kieran was 10 months old, it was my 33rd birthday in the October, and Mark organised a small party, at his house. His four kids were there, my four, Mark’s girlfriend, and my husband. Mark and I still dealing with our guilt over the crash, me with the death of my marriage, and my hopes for my relationship with Steve, my husband with his headlong dive into alcoholism and drug abuse, and of course wife beating.

Mark’s girlfriend and I went to the local on foot, leaving the others at the house. Mark and my husband had a fight. He asked Mark if he was fucking me, ever the smart arse Mark said no, but I’d like to. When we returned it escalated. My husband threatened me with a carving knife. Mark bounced his head off a wooden garden table, telling him, if he touched me again, he’d kill him, adding if his little brother was there he would not have offered the courtesy of a warning. The police were called and George was arrested. I was told I could stay there if I wanted to, they would make room, and with hindsight I should have, but I got a taxi home.

Closing Old Wounds

I arrived to find my husband attempting to burn the house down after having trashed everything. I called the police, they came, told me I was winding him up, it was the marital home, and he could wreck it if he wanted. On the 19th of November he kicked me across the living room in front of our 2yr old son and ruptured my bowel. I didn’t get to go to hospital for about four hours. I cleaned up the dinner he had thrown at me, and sat on the sofa, while the pain increased. Eventually he called an ambulance, warning me if I told them what really happened he would take our boy, and my precious bastard baby of Steve’s, and I would never see them again.

quadriplegic abuse
As we walked down the stairs at home, husband on one side a paramedic on my other, I began to feel sick. The paramedics shoes or my husband’s? No contest, as I felt the vomit rise in my throat I turned my head and puked all over his shoes. That made me feel so much better. I was in hospital for two days, before they figured out what was wrong, I was prepped for surgery, I had bowel resection.

Jim, a driver I worked with, and was good mates with came to see me. He sat next to the bed, looked me in the eye, and said, “Sarah, I know what’s been going on. I know you are frightened, and I know that’s why you haven’t left him, but this can’t go on. He will kill you in the end, talk to the police, please I’m begging you!” I looked at him, tears rolling down my cheeks. “You call them here, I’ll talk to them.” It took two hours to take my statement, they wanted me to go home, and said they would arrest him a day or two later… I looked at the police officer and said, “Who do you want to take out of there in handcuffs, and who in a body bag? Because I won’t be leaving in a body bag.”

Mark came to see me in hospital. I told him it was his fault. That if the family had not vetoed Steve being with me, none of this would have happened, he looked at me, and just nodded. The night before I was going home George came to talk me into forgiving him, promising to get help. I said the same thing I said the night of Steve’s accident… That it was over, and I wanted a divorce, and he was to leave when I got home, immediately. He was not to threaten to take the boy’s and he should be packed to go as soon as I arrive. He accepted this and left, taking my baby with him. I was terrified he would harm our kids.

The next morning it was like a military operation, my drugs were dispensed, and ready for 9am. Jim went to the house and met the police, they arrested George. Jim collected the kids, house keys, and came to the hospital to collect me. I went home in my pajamas!

My recovery took longer this time and as I couldn’t drive, I became the radio and phone operator at work, kept amused by all the drivers. Mark and Jim, to name a few, became my support network. Mark and I talked about how I felt about what had gone on with Steve and came to an agreement that it may have been the wrong choice to send him home to his wife. I never understood why they did it. None of them liked her, she was an awful wife, cheating, neglecting the kids, and the house. She was mentally abusive to Steve from the moment he got home. So while Steve was being abused by her, and I was being beaten to within an inch of my life, I completely failed to see who benefited. Mark did, he got what rightfully belonged to Steve, for a short while anyway.

Wake Up Call

One night at work a taxi driver I didn’t always get along with and I were sitting outside the garage smoking, and having a coffee. He turned to me and said, “Sarah, what are you doing?” “Well John I’m sitting here…” “No, you daft moo, with Mark. He’s not Steve, he won’t ever be like him, he won’t ever be him. No matter how much you want him to be. He just isn’t so you need to stop it, now! You get me? It’s only hurting you, not helping, it never will.” I looked at John, tears rolling down my cheeks, “I miss him John, it’s not fair, he should be with me, not being Annie’s pet husband, it’s wrong, it’ll end badly, I just know it.” And unaccustomed as he was to random weepy women, and show’s of affection, he hugged me tight, and said, with a great deal of foresight, as it turned out, “Don’t worry honey, it’ll all come right in the end, you two are meant to be, just keep the faith, don’t ever let go, and you’ll be together someday, I just know it.”

Wheelchair Couple Coffee

I don’t think I need go into the details of the following relationships, of which there were three, suffice to say, I ended it with Mark only a few days after John and I had our little talk. Soon after this my husband who was arrested for GBH with intent, skipped bail, and threatened to kill me. The council refused to move me until he tried, and I had been vaguely seeing the guy who fixed the company vehicles he offered for me to stay with him, we spent three years together, he was an alcoholic too. I had several affairs during that relationship, and as became my habit, when someone got too close I longed for Steve again, and sabotaged the relationship.

Frying Pan To Fire

I moved on, and had a short lived, sex based relationship with a soldier, 12 years my junior it was very short lived, but mostly enjoyable. I then got involved with someone 20 years younger. We were together for almost six years. During our relationship Facebook was invented and became a world wide access point for people to bugger up their lives, friendships and relationships. I found Steve and sent a friend request which he accepted. That was in December 2009, we didn’t speak much to start with, not directly. Annette didn’t like it so we commented on each others photo’, and generally kept track of each other. Steve has told me since that he was overjoyed when I sent the request. He had been looking for me but only remembered my married name, which I no longer used, and had bypassed me several times while searching Mark’s friend list, thinking it wasn’t me.

In August 2010, Annette got caught out in one of her numerous affairs, and while on the family holiday, announced the marriage was over, had been for many years in her eyes, she spent the insurance money, that Steve had got, and when that ran out, she started visiting sex sites, and meeting random men for sex. The bottom fell out of Steve’s world, he knew they had been in trouble for years, but she had systematically destroyed his self confidence. By the end of November we were in regular contact. In December we had some of the worst snow in year’s. My car was broke down in -20 degree temperatures and was out of action for three weeks. For those weeks, because our house is so remote, Luke my partner at that time went to stay at his mother’s. So he could catch the train to university. And I was alone with my two sons and my laptop.

Sweet Contentment

Steve and I talked for hours on end, with me filling in all the gaps in his memory of the crash, and of the following weeks. Telling him all the stuff that happened to me in those ten years apart and out of touch. He told me how awful that everything was after he came home, how every time they argued she threw the accident in his face blaming him for fucking up her life. When she had alone decided he would go back to her after discovering how much money he would get, plus all the benefits that came along too. Steve recalled, “She took me back to get my money, and pulled me away from you for financial gain, the spinal unit told her I had five years, six max, and once I passed six, that was it.”

By Christmas my car was fixed but my life was in turmoil once again. Steve thought I was happy with Luke, but I wasn’t. I felt like his mother, he was lazy, mean to the kids and our sex life was none existent. After about two weeks of arguing with myself, while Luke was fixed to the Xbox, I started an early evening chat with Steve. I had told him about my fling with Mark very early on during our chat’s and then said I had something else to confess, “You slept with Steve (Steve’s oldest brother) too.” He joked. “God, Steve, no! Credit me with some taste.” I replied, “What then?” he asked. I took a deep breath, and began to type, this is what I said: Steve, it’s you, it’s always been you, I am in love with you, I always have been from the moment we met, and that hasn’t changed. In all these year’s I never stopped thinking about you, wanting to be with you, see you, I am so unhappy with Luke, I just want you…

There was a long pause, it seemed to last forever. Then, “Really? when we started talking so much, I thought for a minute, maybe, hoped, but dismissed it, decided you were just being a mate, but you really still feel that way, you know I’m a cripple, don’t you Sarah? I didn’t get better Baby Girl, you know all this right?” “Yes Steve, I know, why would it make a difference?”

There’s things you need to know he told me, we talked a lot on MSN, when we got kicked off Facebook chat for using it too much. He told me all about his injury, his needs, and the hardest thing he ever told anyone ever, about his erectile dysfunction, and that he and his wife had never had sexual intercourse since his injury. But there are ways we can he said, she just couldn’t be bothered. He wrote it all on MSN with his Dragon dictate software, and the pause, while I read it, seemed like a eternity, the next thing he wrote was “Oh no, what have I done, it’s too much. I want to make love to you and I might not be able too… say something Sarah.”

I answered him, immediately, “No, Steve, I was just reading it, carefully, so I took it all in, so, tell me, what can we do, for us to be able to make love?” His response was one I will never, ever forget…” Oh God Sarah, you really do love me, and want me, don’t you, do you know, how I write text messages, let me tell you, I write them with my tongue, I can drive you to total ecstasy with my tongue, you’ll think you are dying with pleasure, I promise you, I’ll make you come, for hours, and when you think you’ve had enough, you’ll be begging me for more, I can satisfy you more than any man has ever before I promise, but we may not be able to have actual sex, do you think you can spend your life that way?” “Yes, Steve, oh my God yes, I am turned on just thinking about it.” “Good, and there are tablets that can help with erectile dysfunction, I tried Viagra but it made me dysreflexic, and Annette didn’t want to have proper sex with me anymore she had plenty of that elsewhere”

That conversation took place in the first week or so of January 2011, Annette had met a new guy online and stayed with him most weekends, which became four or five days, leaving Steve with her two kids from her first marriage, and her and Steve’s two son’s, who when they said they were splitting both opted to stay with Steve. We spent loads of time on the phone, having both taken out a contract with the same mobile network, we talked endlessly about before the crash, and after, and laughed, a lot. we sent dirty texts, he drove me to orgasm by talking to me, we had phone sex, my vibrator got a lot of use in those weeks, he loved to hear me coming while I gasped his name, and screamed it too.

Annette and her new man found a flat together, they were moving in on the last day of February, I arranged to go and see him, that weekend, the 3rd of March, I lied to Luke about where I was going, Steve had said he would hold me to nothing, until he looked into my eyes when I first saw him, and knew I meant it when I said, to his face that I love him, and his spinal injury changed nothing.

Quadriplecic Love

I arrived at his house around midnight on the Thursday, Callum, his 13yr old son let me in, and I followed him upstairs, I was so nervous, it had been so long, what if I was not how he remembered me, what if he decided it was a terrible mistake. I walked into the bedroom. Steve was in bed as the carers come to put him to bed at 9.30pm, I walked to his side of the bed, all the nerves melted away, we looked at each other for a few seconds, and he said, “Hi Babe, been a while, you look just the same as I remember.” I leaned over and kissed him, we forgot for a second that Callum was there, and he kissed me back passionately, and then said, whoa, children! Callum stayed for twenty minutes, went and made a cup of tea, and then, bless him, made a tactful departure.

Fatal Rapture

In minutes, I was down to my red (Steve’s favourite colour) knickers and bra, and in bed, in his arms. “Get that bra off, this instant, I want your nipples, where I can get them.” I did as he asked, “Come here, then, but remember you are the boss, you say how far we go, or not.” And that night, my nipples got more attention than they had ever had before, and I was gasping for breath by the end, Steve is super sensitive around his neck, shoulders, ears, and head, and I worked this out very quickly. We fell asleep, with Steve’s arms wrapped around me, and his body curled towards me, my knickers lost somewhere on his bedroom floor.

The next morning the nurses arrived, at 8.30 to do bowel care, just walking in like they owned the place, I had in the night kicked the duvet off me, so the sight that greeted them was me naked, wrapped in Steve’s arms, they didn’t know where to put themselves, but made no sign of leaving the room so I could cover myself up. Steve woke up, and said, can you get out, please, Sarah needs to get some clothes on, she can’t stand around on the landing naked while you do what needs doing, can she? they went out onto the landing, and I found my dressing gown, and dragged it on, I went and found the kitchen, made coffee, and waited while his bowel care was done, I could hear them, questioning him, about me, him telling them, that we had known each other for years, and get used to my being around. Is this the new girlfriend then Steve? Yes, his very firm reply.

It was an amazing weekend, the second night he did as he promised with his tongue, by far  the most stable position for this is me facing his feet, where he can get to every part he wants with ease, but I like to face him, because he likes to watch my face as I come, and look into my eyes as he works me into a frenzy, but that way, plays hell with my legs, which start to give way. “Turn around Sarah, I want that cute little arse in my face.” so I do, and in minutes I am experiencing the most intense orgasm I have ever had in my entire life.

My body takes over completely, rocking back harder and harder against the firm pressure of his tongue, while I scream his name, over and over, gasping that I am coming, like he was in any doubt! And just when I think it’s stopping it washes over me again, he pushes his tongue inside me, moaning softly as he does so, pulling me harder towards his mouth, murmuring “Come on Baby, there’s more I know there’s more” And he is right, I push back again, “Oh god, Oh Steve, Oh please, I can’t, can we stop…No, don’t stop, don’t ever stop Oh Steve, I’m coming.” A muffled groan is the only reply, and a giggle, as I change my mind about a break, and then change it again.

While this is happening, I glance at his penis, which with some attention from my mouth had hardened, and then changed its mind, but is in my hand anyway, and it’s hard, properly, “Steve, you are hard! stop a sec, I keep a firm hold, and switch back to facing him, then gently guide it inside me, his face registers surprise, I can feel that, he says, not all over but the warmth, the pressure, oh Sarah, you are a clever girl, I move gently, so we don’t lose it, feeling him hard inside me is just wonderful.

Looking into his eyes, as I move up, and then gently back down, then keep still, and use my fingers to make myself come, at this point, as I do, his eyes widen, in surprise, I can feel you tightening on it, and then he says he has this odd, fluttery feeling in his stomach, which he says is so pleasurable, and I can feel him hardening more inside me, this feeling intensifies, then slowly stops, I think that that was the first time I had an orgasm since my injury, he says, and that was just well WOW.

Wheelchair Love Lasts

So, although there is some erectile dysfunction, with the right stimulation, it’s not all the time, we use a drug called Cialis, if we want it to last longer, and be harder, but most of the time, I can get it to become hard, with a combination of him watching me give him oral sex, and the use of a mini vibrator called a bullet, or just him giving me mind blowing orgasm’s

Quadriplegic Love Lasts

The weekend flies by, and it’s Monday, before I know it, we have time to go to lunch with Victor, a friend of Steve, since they were 17, he is a lovely guy, but his and Steve’s friendship has suffered over the years, due to Victor’s intense dislike of Annette, and her treatment of Steve, and herself serving reasons for taking him back. He told me all about it as time went on, just before the accident.

Victor clearly remembers Steve visiting with Kathy, and telling him, don’t get too used to her, it won’t last, don’t let Justine (Victor’s wife) get too friendly, there’s someone else, I have fallen in love with, but Fuck, it’s so complicated, she’s married, but he is a dick, and I think she is scared of him, and she’s pregnant, and no it’s not mine, but Victor I want her and I know she feels the same.

I just have to get out of this, I can’t deal with her, she’s suffocating clingy, and keeps on about us getting custody of the boy’s, she doesn’t know anything about kids, and I just don’t love her, not that way, what the hell am I going to do? Victor told him to tell the married woman how he feels.

Then we are standing in his back garden, having a cigarette one day, and Victor suddenly realizes he saw me, the totally devastated pregnant woman at the hospital was me, and it all slots into place, and he say’s, “And you still love him after everything that’s happened, incredible.” So friends believe me when I say quadriplegic love lasts.  After all the pain, distance, and time, plus our many obstacles and mistakes, our love for each other has endured to this day.

3D Wheelchair Art Modeling

3D Wheelchair Model Animation

Creating 3D wheelchair model animation is easy with so many user friendly programs available these days. You no longer need a degree in kinetics to easily create realistic animations. I explained how to set up some simple 3D wheelchair models previously using free 3D software Daz3D. Now here are a few 3D wheelchair model animations I put together. One of the options in the Daz3D 4.6 free version is export as an AVI movie. I then simply rip to GIF format to be cross browser friendly and post here.

The 3D wheelchair model animation below is a short endless loop of 50 frames. Our female model Susan in sports gear is walking beside our male model Michael in a Flex wheelchair on a warm sunny day.

3D Wheelchair Model Animation Walking

3D Wheelchair Model Animation

This second 3D wheelchair model animation is sexy Susan in a bikini on roller blades pushing a shirtless Michael in his Flex wheelchair. This one is an 80 frame loop. Sometimes it’s the simple things that make it look most realistic, like Susan’s hair blowing, and Michael’s head bob on each push. Did I over do her boobs lol? The scene in the background is a single image making the rendering process (saving as video) faster.

3D Wheelchair Animation Roller Blades

Wheelchair Model Animation of sexy bikini girl jiggle on roller blades pushing guy in flex wheelchair

Once you get the basic movement right there are many easy to apply options; skin color, hair type, clothing, body type, muscle size, plus lighting effects, endless camera angles, and so on that all conform or magnetize to your base 3D wheelchair model animation. I created the above short animation simply by making a few changes to the first countryside one.

3D Wheelchair Animation

Bookmark this page and have a go at making your own 3D wheelchair animation. I’m here to help and happy to post any of your creative works on a page of your own.

Loving Somebody Extraordinary

It was September 24th 2006 when my path crossed with my soul mate. At 35 I had all but lost faith in eligible men and monogamous relationships, never mind conventional marriage. There he was sitting in the only patch of sun at a Bar-B-Que and I couldn’t resist joining him to soak up the warmth. I had just given up alcohol for good, and offered him a taste of my ginger beer. His cousin, our neighbour of 34 years, was having a farewell BBQ and Francois almost didn’t come. Meeting Francois changed my life forever. 

Loving Somebody Extraordinary

Loving Somebody Extraordinary

Francois is a wiz on computers and online games. At the time he was busy with Lineage II. He explained how he was able to gather with other online gamers across the world to arrange sieges, defend castles and fend off fierce dragons. He called himself a “lowly warrior”. I have since discovered he is more likely a Knight. With many of his fellow swordsmen being North Americans, most of the online battles were scheduled for 4am. This was no trouble for Francois and he would be awake and ready to support his guild. 

His lifestyle was akin to that of a vampire, drawing the thick curtains during daylight so the glare wouldn’t reflect off the graphics, and awake all night to battle. He fought with pride, honour and dignity, and this seemed to mirror his inner core. Francois was clearly a gentleman who encompassed good old fashioned chivalry. He also has a deep understanding of human nature, and a permanent good humour. These are rare and precious qualities that were obviously enhanced through his disability. Francois has a level C5-6 spinal cord injury (SCI) and is completely paralysed from his chest down to his feet. He has partial movement of his upper arms running down into wrist extension, but sadly it stops short of hand and finger movement. 

At 5:20pm on a warm Monday afternoon in 1992, a car drove into Francois flinging him off his motorcycle and breaking his neck. What would you do if you could alter 10 minutes in your lifetime? He was 18 years old and had just started working. He spent six months at the Conradie Rehabilitation Centre for spinal cord injuries where he recovered and was taught how to adapt to his new life. The first three months were spent in a head brace which was fastened tightly to prevent any movement at all so that the bones in his neck could fuse. They didn’t realize that his scapula was broken, and the pressure of the brace against his shoulder was agonizing. The pain in his shoulder restricts pushing his wheelchair to this day. Suddenly lying on your back with no sensation and no movement in your entire body is a life sentence that one cannot compare to anything. It’s unthinkable. 

The ward was full of men forced to come to terms with their injuries. They developed an unspoken bond and deep understanding that would resurface years later when they bumped into each other again. Every three hours they were turned to prevent pressure sores, which meant a peaceful night’s sleep was impossible. Pressure sores are one of the worst afflictions of paralysis. They develop too easily from lack of blood circulation, mostly from a hip or bony extrusion pressing for too long on a surface. Being paralysed means not being able to feel anything below the level of the break, and often a pressure sore can go unnoticed until it’s very serious. Tragically, two thirds of people with a spinal cord injury suffer chronic, intractable pain in those areas where there is sensation. A “complete break” is when the nerve has been completely severed, whereas an “incomplete break” means there is still some connection and some level of recovery.

God’s miracle of creation is clearly evident in how the organs of the body know their respective tasks and carry on as per normal. Bladders and bowels still need to be emptied. This is one of the biggest hurdles that a paralysed person faces, how to manage their bowel routine and to retain some sort of dignity. Did you know that it’s impossible to cough without chest muscles? This change’s the dynamics of catching a simple cold for fear that it may become bronchitis. I certainly didn’t know. I knew virtually nothing about paralysis when I met Francois. But I was willing to learn one day at a time in order to spend time with him. I laughed more than I had in years, life had become adventurous and fun, I had found my very own Mr Bean and perfectly preserved Peter Pan rolled into one. 

Francois enjoys the view from his wheechair in Knynsa

Francois enjoys the view from his wheechair in Knynsa

Our first date was a drive to Ceres, stopping at Bainskloof pass for a picnic. It would be his first picnic in 15 years. Imagine not doing things for 15 years, not going to the movies, not believing you could have a loving partner or a normal life. It was a first of many more firsts to follow. But that picnic was our very first time and we hadn’t yet figured out the do’s and don’ts. That day I burnt his hand with a hot coffee cup (he still has a small scar); he developed the start of a pressure sore sitting on a hard car seat; and he got a bladder infection from an overfull legbag that he didn’t want to ask me to empty. It was love. And the physical attraction was undeniable. He had a twinkle in his gorgeous blue eyes that made my heart skip a beat. 

We both knew from the beginning that we had found the love we had once believed in. I had travelled around the world and found the centre of my universe on my doorstep. We used to play together as carefree children. Francois proposed to me on 7/7/2007 during a weekend away at Cape Agulhas. Our friends and family joined in an awesome engagement celebration at Wiesenhof, in the heart of nature. We had a BBQ at the lapa overlooking the dam, with each guest receiving a straw sunhat as a special memento.

Computer keyboard typing splint

Computer keyboard typing splint

Soon after we met, Francois embarked on an arduous journey of studying IT through UNISA. It’s a four year course that he has immersed himself into, determined to make a success. He has been richly rewarded with distinctions for almost all of his subjects. It’s a tremendous achievement, especially given the technical difficulties involved for him to study and write his exams. He is fortunately able to operate a computer easily with the aid of a typing stick. In fact, with another set of helping hands he has built all his own computers. However, a textbook poses much more of a challenge. To handle a book and turn pages without the use of hands and fingers is no easy feat.

Here Francois’ mother deserves a special mention, as she tirelessly assists him with his studies as his caregiver. The first examination that Francois wrote was nail-biting. Other students are able to write exams but Francois needs a computer to type on. They had designated a computer at the back of the normal exam venue upstairs. On that particular day the lifts were out of order. Mayhem and panic followed. They contemplated carrying Francois upstairs, but this was too daunting and dangerous.

The library was downstairs and they ended up using one of the quiet audio-visual rooms, make-shifting a desk for him. Telephone books were cleverly placed underneath to raise the level of the desk to the height of his wheelchair. Another desk was placed alongside for Francois to be able to lean on. Without him having stomach muscles he is unable to balance, so without support he would topple over. I’m not sure if he would fare well on a boat, it’s an adventure we’re still to try. Lastly, he brings his own keyboard and mouse for ease of use. This was to become Francois’ examination venue thereafter. A few years on, Johan Jacobs, the Deputy Director at UNISA, specially designed motorised adjustable desks suitable for people with any sized wheelchair, and purchased state-of-the art computers for people with any type of disability.

Each exam has had its own set of challenges. Once, Francois had to re-write his exams. It was a very bleak day indeed. As Francois was finishing up and preparing to print, MS Word froze and all his answers were corrupted. That day Francois and his invigilator sat for seven hours straight as he diligently rewrote the entire paper. Tricky too is when questions require him to draw a technical diagram, which he cannot do. This can be beyond frustrating. Frustration is the number one stumbling block. Able bodied people are able to go for a walk, go for a drive, do something else to release our pent-up frustration. How does a paralysed person handle the many frustrations that he encounters? Francois remains sane with an insane sense of humour.

It’s a daily reminder for me to be ever-grateful that I am physically able to get out of bed, take a shower, hop into the car and drive to work. The simple everyday things that we take for granted are actually the greatest gifts in life. Francois is unable to cross a road on his own because of the pavements. It takes a minimum of two hours to get us both ready in the mornings. All routine tasks take thrice as much time and effort.

Going out can become emotionally draining when things go wrong: if the legbag leaks and floods the shoe with urine; not being able to find parking in a designated wheelchair bay; no room for the wheelchair next to the car, a small oversight in some parking areas; the catheter not draining properly (this is life-threatening if not fixed in time); extreme hot or cold weather (quadriplegics don’t have normal temperature regulating bodily functions); transferring into or out of the car in rain where everything plus the wheelchair cushion gets wet. Yet after the rain there is always a rainbow. We had a magical wedding on 4/4/2009, it was a dream come true. The love and support from our family and friends was phenomenal. This was topped by the best adventure we’d ever had, a honeymoon in Kruger National Park.

Travelling-wheelie-Wall-E

Travelling companion Wall-E

Wall-E was our travelling companion, a young fluffy lion with wild hair and an eagerness to see untouched nature. Kruger is well equipped for wheelchairs, and each of the five parks we stayed in had designated bungalows that were wheelchair friendly. Though being wheelchair friendly doesn’t necessarily mean being quadriplegic-friendly. On two of the balconies I almost lost Francois as he went flying down a ramp that was too steep, once backwards! He also burnt his hand quite severely while tending to the fire one windy evening. We had duct-taped a long two-prong fork to his hand so that he could turn the meat. He is unable to feel heat on his hand and the fire must have been hotter than we realized.

 We both tend to put on our McGyver caps when trying to find clever ways of doing everyday things. Great successes are duct-taping a table-tennis bat to his hand, putting non-slip handgrips onto everything, which has amongst other things brought out the chef in him. Along our travels we were privileged to find QAWC (QuadPara Association of Western Cape) through which we have met so many other people in a similar situation as us. Some were recovering at Conradie at the same time as Francois, cementing strong friendships. They don’t let adversity hold them back. It is fascinating to observe how everyone finds ingenious ways of doing things. It is just a lot harder to physically do everyday things, and a person’s potential is dependent on their environment and support base. Which is why it’s uplifting when total strangers offer their help. On a particularly interesting day at the World of Birds, a steep pathway had become damp and slippery. We were stuck. Out of the blue a strong set of arms enveloped my shoulders and helped me push the wheelchair. It’s these moments that live forever.

Christopher Reeve named his first book “Still Me”. He was still the same person inside, regardless of his physical condition and appearance. He was still the same person, yet even better in many ways. As was Francois, he most likely developed a bucket load of patience, a deeper level of understanding, and an enhanced emotional intelligence* after his accident. Chris used his fortune and misfortune to encourage researchers to find cures and a better quality of life for paralysis victims. Chris’ work and legacy is paying off. Recently a paralysed victim of a car accident, Rob Summers, has been able to move again through ground-breaking electrical nerve stimulation. Although still early days, it pays homage to the title of Christopher Reeve’s second book, “Nothing is Impossible”

Jessica

Disabled wheelchair model animation Michael pushing manual Flex design wheelchair

Wheelchair Animation In Daz3D

Ok rock stars, here is our Flex design wheelchair animation in Daz3D. With a few quick steps you can have fun creating your own wheelchair animation in Daz3D at home for free. Download a free version of Daz 3D from their website. Previously I showed how to import 3D models and figures, set colors, textures, clothing, pose the figures and so on. Now let’s have some 3D anim movie fun.

Wheelchair Wheel Rotation

[nggtags gallery=rotate]

To setup your wheelchair wheel rotation open Daz3D and click the Pose & Animate tab. 1) Import your wheels to the zero point. 2) Set X Rotate to 720. 3) Set Y Translate to 31. 4) On the timeline set 91 frames, a range of 0 to 90, and drop the frames per second (FPS) to 20. 5) On frame 90 set Z Translate to -389.36. Render to see if your wheelchair wheel rotation is correct and matches the distance. 

It might be worth explaining how I calculated wheel rotation and distance. 2 PI R equals the circumference of a circle. Imagine wrapping a string around the tyre then laying it out flat, we want to know that measurement to sync the wheel rotation to distance. PI is 3.14 and R (radius) is 31. So 3.14 x 31 x 2 = 194.68 for one full wheel rotation. Times 2 again for two wheel rotations and we get 389.36.

Posing Disabled Wheelchair Model

Now the wheelchair animation is looking good we start posing disabled wheelchair model Michael. Sit him in our flex wheelchair at frame zero and on frame 90 set Z Translate to -389.36. Then add key-frames and adjust his chest, arms, hands etc to give the illusion he’s pushing the wheelchair. Take a few renders going back and tweaking to achieve a realistic motion. Here’s our paraplegic hunk Michael in motion.

Sweet, all we do now is set a scene add a few lights and drop in a background. Indoor lighting can be a bit tricky in Daz3D so I won’t bore you with all that here. Just know in Daz3D you need raytracing on at least one light to get a realistic shadow effect. Here we have the sunlight (distant light) coming through the window and four down lights (spotlights) all set with raytracing on.

And with that I’m off to watch The Lorax.

Wheelchair Lovers Dating Paraplegics

We have been dating for about a month now. Our relationship is still as exciting as it was on our first dating paraplegic girls night you may have read about. We have a very open relationship at work now that Jeff is comfortable with dating paraplegics and wheelchair lovers. We have even made friends with other wheelchair couples who are new to dating.

Cindy is a paraplegic girlfriend of mine. I’ve known her for a few years. We met in a social group for disabled women I used to be involved in. Like me, she is a paraplegic in a manual wheelchair, but she retains some feeling in the lower parts of her legs and feet. There is another friend of mine from the same group that is a double arm amputee. She uses prosthetic hooks. I would like to take her out with Jeff and I sometime. Recently, a co-worker Rick, told Jeff he is interested in dating wheelchair lovers. So we set Cindy and Rick up on a double date. Two wheelchair couples means twice the fun!

Rick had often asked Jeff things about wheelchair lovers. He asked if I had any paraplegic wheelchair friends that might be interested in dating. Of course, I knew just the girl. Cindy is very attractive and interested in dating wheelchair lovers. She exercises her legs most every day to keep the muscle tone. She’s had a better head start on that than I did, because she’s only been a paraplegic for a few years after an accident left her paralyzed. She joined the group for support and we became instant friends. She tells me I am brave wearing skirts and dresses all the time with high heels and nylons, showing off my thin legs.

dating paraplegic wheelchair lovers nylon stockings

Wheelchair lovers nylon stockings

Her legs look great, having not lost much muscle tone due to her regular exercises and therapy. Her doctors say she may even regain some movement, but for now she spends her day’s mobile only through her wheelchair. She always wears pants and very safe tops, even though she has a chest that any man would want to see more of. She has a hard time believing a handicapped girl in a wheelchair can be sexy – so tonight when we go out, she’s agreed to let me chose what she wears! Since we’re the same size, from waist up anyway) I’ve promised her something very sexy from my own wardrobe that is going to cause Rick’s eyes to bulge!

Couples Dating Wheelchair Lovers

So far, we have been on three dates with Cindy and Rick. Rick’s curiosity of wheelchair lovers is paying off. He enjoys dating is new paraplegic girlfriend. He has yet to see Cindy’s legs. He’s been polite; not talking about her disability since he knows it makes her a little shy. And except for a few kisses, there has been no intimacy between them. She has never even been out of her wheelchair when she’s around him. But they make a cute couple and are getting along really well.

Cindy asked me about the leg braces I wear at work, if I like using them and how they feel on my legs. She swears she would never wear them but I’m going to see if I can change that. Of course she couldn’t wear my right one, since my leg is shorter and right shoe smaller for my smaller foot. But my left one is just right I think. I know she wears the same size shoes as I do on my left foot, and the length is right. The only thing may be it fitting too tight around her leg, since my legs are so thin. We’ll just have to see I guess.

So right after work we head to my house in our separate cars. Cindy is used to driving with her hand controls that are just like mine. The only difference is her wheelchair easily collapses so she can load the chair into her car after she gets in. She just has to re-assemble it when she gets where she’s going which only takes a few minutes.

I arrived home first, and when she wheeled up my ramp to my open front door I was still in my braces but using my wheelchair to move around the house. I was still in my skirt and blouse from work, and had my right leg crossed over my left one in my chair. She knew my house well and made herself at home with a drink from the kitchen. I told her I was going to wash up before changing clothes and she could do the same since I have the accessible shower. She went ahead since I still had to take my leg braces off and undress.

Naked Paraplegic Girls Wheelchair Beauty

From my bedroom, I could see her undressing in her wheelchair in my bathroom – lifting her legs to her lap to remove her flat dress shoes, wiggling out of her pants and panties, and taking her blouse and bra off. While I took the straps loose from my braces, I watched her transfer from her chair to the shower chair and pull her legs into the stall behind her. Even though I have to do these things myself every day, it’s still interesting to see how another paraplegic does things. Also, to see another beautiful woman doing them is a treat too. I’m not a lesbian by any means, but I do admire her very attractive body.

So I finished with my braces, and removed my limp feet one at a time from my three-inch pumps. I left the braces on the bed, shoes attached, hoping they would spark interest in Cindy and she would want to at least try them. I didn’t want to push her into anything she wouldn’t be comfortable with but a little secretive suggestion like this wouldn’t hurt!

I laid back and pulled at the waistband of my white pantyhose, sliding them down my thighs leaving my panties on since I had a guest in the house. I sat up and pulled my left leg to my chest to pull the hose off over my thin knee and calf, then off my foot. Same for the right leg and tossed the pantyhose in the laundry. The blouse followed the hose, and I was left sitting in just my bra and panties when I heard the water shut off.

I looked through the hallway to see the curtain slide and Cindy sitting there. She looked embarrassed when she noticed me, not because of her naked wet body sitting there but because she realized she had forgotten to get a towel before getting in the shower. I quickly pulled myself off the bed to my wheelchair and lifted my legs together into the footrests. I grabbed two towels, and laid one in her wheelchair for her and tossed her the other. My bathroom is big, but not big enough for two wheelchairs. So I sat in the hall while Cindy dried and transferred back to her waiting wheelchair.

We made small talk while she pulled her panties from her bag and got ready to pull them on her limp legs, which were crossed in her wheelchair with her towel around her midsection. Like I said, we’re the same size in most respects, so I told her to wait a sec before she put those panties on, I might have something special for her. She started to protest saying it wouldn’t matter, no one will see them but her, but I reminded her of her promise to me.

Sex And Intimacy With Wheelchair Lovers

Cindy longed to be intimate with a man. She had not had sex since becoming paralyzed so she was long overdue. It takes time for wheelchair lovers to build self confidence and be intimate. I promised her tonight was her night. If she would just take a little advice and forget for one night that she was disabled. Sex with paralyzed girls is the same as sex with any girl. I know she likes Rick and he is a confident wheelchair lover. I told her to act like any other date she had ever been on, and let Rick know she likes him. No doubt he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off her. I also suggested she come out of her wheelchair to make love. For newly dating wheelchair lovers sex in a wheelchair can be a little tricky.

I told her to come to the bedroom. I had three brand new still in the packs pair of expensive panties that were very, very sexy. A wheelchair lovers delight. One silky white pair, one black pair with some lacy trim, and a bright red pair. All with bras to match I told her. She was playfully protesting, but I knew she was ready for this. She chose the black lacy ones, and slipped the bra onto her large breasts. I told her to get on the bed because there was no way she would get pantyhose on sitting in her wheelchair. She knew I was putting her in a skirt or dress of some kind, but hadn’t given thought to the pantyhose.

dating paraplegic wheelchair lovers black bra and pantyhose

Wheelchair lovers black bra and pantyhose

“Can’t I just go with my legs bare?” she asked me. I told her how a lot of men like the feeling of pantyhose on a woman’s legs. That clinging nylon, smooth as silk over a wheelchair lovers legs just does something to a man. Add the intrigue of those legs being paralyzed and it’s got to be very exciting for a man who is into dating paraplegic girls.

Experimenting With Leg Braces Dating Paraplegics

Cindy pulled her legs onto the bed and pushed against her wheelchair, sliding her bottom on and pushing her useless legs out across in front of her. Having been a paraplegic only a short while, she was very agile and good at making transfers out of her chair. As she pushed across the bed, her foot came to rest on the metal of my leg braces. “Wow, that’s cold!” she said, referring to the cold steel of my braces against the bottom of her foot. I almost forgot she still has some feeling in her legs and feet, something I have none of.

“How do you really walk in those things, they look so uncomfortable! And those high heels have to be hard to manage too.” I told her with a little getting used to, she could get used to them pretty quick. And they give you more accessibility than a wheelchair does, there are lots of advantages. The shoes, that’s just my preference. I like to look sexy, and Jeff likes them.

“Why don’t you just put one on, and see how it feels on your leg. It’s just the two of us here, you might be surprised.” I told her. She actually said okay, she wanted to see how it felt. She confided she watched me a lot, swinging through my crutches, watching my shorter leg with the buildup, and seeing my left leg drag the ground a little when I swing through. She had watched me many times work the knee locks, and cross my legs in my office chair so she knew how they worked.

I told her to grab the left one, since the right one would be too small for her foot. She positioned herself straight on the bed, and pulled her left leg out straight in front of her. I spun around in my wheelchair to my drawer where I had several new packs of pantyhose. I threw her a suntan pair and she looked at me like “What am I going to do with these?” She opened them and pulled them out, stretching them a little. She told me she wasn’t sure how to put pantyhose on since she has been paralyzed, and she always thought it must be impossible with legs that don’t work.

So I instructed her: “Take one side and just roll them up until you get to the bottom. Pull your leg up to your chest and with your leg between your arms, pull the stocking onto your toes, then around your heel and up around your ankle.” She did these things, sloppily at first but got the nylon around her foot. “Now just let your leg fall while you let the hose out pulling it up your leg.” She did as instructed, and was amazed when she saw she had pantyhose on up past her knee. She did the same with her right leg, and wiggled around until she had both thighs covered. Leaning back, she pulled the top over her black panties and around the waist. She stared in awe at her newly decorated legs.

After a few seconds she told me she could even feel the stretchy nylon around her feet and some of her legs where she had some feeling. I was surprised to see how tightly stretched they were over her legs. I always buy the small size, since my legs are so thin, and my right one a little shorter. My legs don’t come close to filling out a pair of hose, and usually show a few wrinkles where they are loose on my legs. Her tone legs filled them out nicely and kept them smooth from her hips to her feet.

It was time now for her to put the brace on. Cindy laid the brace out beside her leg, and lifted her leg over into the steel cradle of the brace. I ask her if she minded a little help, and went to the end of the bed to help her on with the shoe. Feeling her limp foot in the nylon gave me a jolt of excitement as I put her toes in the high-heeled shoe and pushed her foot the rest of the way in. She had just about finished with the straps, and in a few seconds her leg was rigid from the steel brace.

Standing After Paraplegia With Leg Braces

I was right, the brace was pressing into her leg in some places where her legs are bigger than mine, but just for trying it out they would do fine. I turned for my crutches, and told Cindy to swing her legs to the side of the bed. She pulled her left leg by the brace, and her right one by the knee, and pulled it out over the bed. I locked the knee of the brace for her with her leg outstretched and handed her the forearm crutches. She placed her arms in the crutches and put them to the floor. Slowly she slid off the bed until she was leaning on her left leg. She pulled herself the rest of the way up until she was standing upright, looking great in just her bra and pantyhose, wearing the one brace and letting her other leg hang freely.

Her toes pointed down and dangled above the floor because of the three-inch pump on her left leg. I could see the excitement in her – standing for the first time since her accident. I told her how to take a step, and with caution she put the crutches out in front of her and swung her braced leg to them, letting her right leg dangle behind. Then another step, and another, and soon she was crutching around the bedroom and doing quite well. I told her after she got used to Rick seeing her legs, and watching her move around she could wear my leg brace out one night with him. But for tonight she would use her wheelchair as normal, so she returned to the bed and removed the brace.

Brace off now, we had to get Cindy dressed. I needed to get dressed too, as I was still in my bra and panties. I went to the bathroom and quickly washed off while Cindy and I talked about her shyness and letting Rick see her bare legs, and seeing her outside of her wheelchair where she would have to move her legs with her hands. I told her that it’s something Rick wants to see, and to have some fun with it. Let him help her out of her chair, and move her legs. I told her how Jeff even likes to put my leg braces on and off for me, and how that one time I even let him put my pantyhose on for me.

Dressing to Impress Wheelchair Lovers

I returned to the bedroom, and headed for the closet. I had the cutest red skirt for Cindy, with a too-tight black blouse. The skirt is a little shorter than knee length, and had a slit in one side. Cindy pulled her legs to her, and slipped the skirt over them and up around her waist, adjusting it after it was on – a perfect fit. Then the blouse over her firm, round breasts and she was almost ready. I went through my shoes and found a pair of peep-toe pumps I had never worn. They were both the size of my left foot, so they would fit her feet nicely. She pulled her legs to her chest again and slid the shoes over her feet. She was gorgeous! I had worked magic I thought and I knew Rick would feel the same way.

I pulled her wheelchair to the bed, and she slid off into it. I could see that with just the right movement, her shiny nylon-clad thigh could be seen through that slit in the skirt.  She put her legs into the footrests and moved back so I could get to the bed. I had picked a light flowered sundress that hugged my body tightly, nude hose, and these open toed heels with the thin straps.

wheelchair lovers dating paraplegics dessing to impress

wheelchair lovers dating paraplegics dessing to impress

I was a little self conscious about my feet being seen, I have to be honest, but I was trying to make a point for Cindy that it was all okay to be put out in the open. Cindy watched as I dressed now, commenting on my quickness from being paralyzed my whole life and so used to doing everything without the use of my legs. We were both in our wheelchairs, legs crossed and skirts hiked up just a little when Jeff and Rick arrived.

This was the moment of truth for Cindy – Rick was about to see Cindy’s paralyzed legs for the first time. And great legs they were, I would love to have the muscle tone in my legs that Cindy has in hers. The knock came at the door, and we hollered for them to come in. Jeff came in first, followed by Rick. I could see Rick’s eyes bulge as he saw his beautiful date – more of her this time than he had seen in the past. She smiled at him and gave a little twirl in her wheelchair while he complimented her outfit and stunning appearance.

Wheelchair Couples Disability Dating

We decided on taking separate cars since we had two wheelchairs, and that Cindy and I would drive. Once outside, I watched Cindy make her transfer to her car while Rick stood beside her trying not to look down at her pulling her legs inside. It was amusing really, knowing how badly he wanted to look. Jeff and I shared a little laugh about that. Cindy instructed him on how to break down her chair, and put it in the backseat. Jeff helped me into my car by picking me up out of my chair and putting me in the seat. He loves to do that – he carries me all the time. My chair disappeared into the rooftop lift and we were off to dinner.

Dinner was wonderful – we must have spent two hours at the restaurant talking, and drinking. I noticed Rick whispering to Cindy, then in the next second his hand slide into her wheelchair and rubbing the inside of her leg, just below her skirt. He must have asked if he could rub her leg, and I’m glad she told him he could.

When we left, I got Jeff to drive my car, and he picked me up again and put me in the passenger seat. Rick drove Cindy’s car too, and she made her transfer to the passenger seat, pulling her legs in behind her, only this time, she showed a little bit more of her legs to Rick as her skirt rode up high while she pulled her legs in the car. His eyes were trained on her legs, and she didn’t seem to mind. She was finally starting to become comfortable with her disability around him. And Rick was very happy dating paraplegic girls.

Back at my house I ditched my chair for the comfort of the couch, and pulled the straps loose from my heels, taking them off my feet. Jeff picked my legs up and sat under me, rubbing my calves with his hands. Of course I couldn’t feel his hands on my legs, but knowing his hands were on my legs like that began to arouse me. I could tell Jeff was getting aroused too, but we still had company so our fun would have to wait. I could tell Cindy was still unsure of what to do. I told her to get comfortable on the loveseat across from Jeff and I, and Jeff could put a movie in for us to watch. Jeff slid out from under my legs and headed to the bedroom for a DVD.

Rick offered a hand to Cindy as she transferred her bottom to the couch, and the lifted her legs from the footrests onto the couch and folding them almost under her. Her skirt played its trick again, and I almost felt bad for giving her one with so much exposure to her thighs! Her toes still peeked out from the front of her pumps, and I could tell she was nervous about taking them off in front of her date. Rick had sat beside her, and placed his hand back on her leg.

He wouldn’t dare ask her to remove her shoes, but being cuddled on the couch would seem silly with high heels on, so Cindy began taking them off. She didn’t make a deal of moving her legs much, just pulling the pumps off one at a time, revealing her feet now in just the nylons. She slid back on the couch farther, letting her legs move where they wanted while she kept them together, not wanting to reveal too much of her thighs. Sliding back made her skirt ride up a little farther, making the dark top of her pantyhose peek out under the slit of the skirt. Rick didn’t seem to notice, and she quickly pulled her skirt back into place.

They got comfortable as Jeff returned with the movie, and came to sit back under my legs on the couch. He had turned the lights low and the movie on, and we made the most of the time by pulling a blanket over us so we could rub each other without being seen. I noticed our date partners doing the same, and I could only imagine what Cindy’s naughty hands were doing to Rick under that blanket. Surely she was priming him for what was to come later.

We had already arranged to have the both of them stay with me, in my guest bedroom, for the night, so I wasn’t surprised when they decided to cut the movie short, and go to the bedroom early. Rick ask as he was getting up if she minded if he carried her to the guest bedroom. She obliged, and he took her by the waist, and under her knees and whisked her off down the hallway, the both of them telling us good night while her limp legs flopped a little as Rick walked. Somehow I knew for them, it would turn out to be a good night!

Kristi Eden

All you ever wanted to know about dating paraplegics and wheelchair users

Dating Paraplegics the Ultimate Guide

Dating paraplegics and wheelchair usersThere are many reasons for and against dating paraplegics and wheelchair users. We answer the common and complex questions people have in “Dating Paraplegics the Ultimate Guide”. Some answers may surprise, we cover all you need to know dating wheelchair users in short easy to understand terms.

“Dating Paraplegics the Ultimate Guide” is a great read for anyone dating. Begin to date a wheelchair user the right way. Discover the secrets to dating paraplegics and wheelchair users.

Dating Paraplegics and Wheelchair Users

  1. Pushy: I want to ask a wheelchair user out but I’m afraid I will scare them off.

    True: You may scare them off, so don’t hang around waiting for a relationship that will never happen. Go ahead and ask them out. They may feel the same way about you. Be creative, “If you behave, I will let you take me out to dinner Friday night.” Most who feel the same way will be flattered. At least you will then know where you stand.

  2. Personal Care Nurse: I don’t want to be a care nurse. That is to much work for me. I don’t want to help with personal care, help toilet shower and dress etc. It is a huge burden and turn-off.

    True: It is a huge responsibility yes. It is alright to feel that way. But you do not have to be their care nurse. They got along fine before they met you. And they will be fine if you leave. Paraplegics are quite able to take care of their own personal hygiene. The very few paraplegics who do need some help with personal care will have, or should get, support services in place.

  3. No Sex: Dating a paraplegic wheelchair user means no sex. They can’t feel it so they don’t enjoy sex or make love very often.

    False: Sex is not usually one of the things we talk about on a first date. Most men and women dating paraplegics do report a healthy active sex life. Those in long term relationships with paraplegics describe them as above average lovers. Some may, but don’t expect all of us to talk about sex on the first date.

  4. Bad Sex: Paraplegics are bad in bed. They just lay there all paralyzed and lifeless during sex.

    False: Paraplegics have great upper body strength. Most can be on top if they want to. Paraplegics are physically active and hands on during the act of love making. If things are boring introduce scented candles, oils, music etc. Appeal to the other senses. Wheelchair users are very visual when it comes to foreplay and sex.

  5. Erections: All wheelchair users have trouble getting and keeping an erection.

    False: What you need to know is if their Spinal Cord Injury is “complete” or “incomplete.” Most with SCI are incomplete. They can get an erection by touching or rubbing their penis, or in the case of girls, wet by rubbing their clitoris. Generally it is only men with a complete spinal cord injury who find it hard to get and keep an erection.

  6. No Children: People in wheelchairs can’t have children. They should not have children. Dating a paraplegic you will not be able to start a family. They can’t look after or raise children very well.

    False: Paraplegic women have the same chance of conceiving a child as any other fertile woman. Pregnancy and childbirth are carried out in much the same way as able-bodied women. Paraplegic women make excellent mothers. Paraplegic men have a slightly lower fertility rate than other men do. Paraplegic men make excellent fathers.

  7. Bad Genes: People with a spinal cord injury have a high risk of giving birth to disabled babies.

    False: A spinal cord injury is not genetic. It cannot be passed on to children.

  8. Short Life Span: Wheelchair users don’t live as long as regular people.

    True: Doctors say a spinal cord injury can shorten an otherwise 80 year life span by a year or two. However, by far the biggest factor influencing life span is lifestyle.

  9. Scarred For Life: Wheelchair users have nasty scars weird legs and a fucked up body.

    True: Most paraplegics do have some scars. In fact most people over 25 have some scars. Injuries involving broken bones require surgery. Unless obvious only trusted people get to see a paraplegics scars. Behind every scar is a story. Paraplegics often have thin limp legs (flaccid legs). Most have a well defined strong upper body to compensate.

  10. Angry: I have been dating paraplegics for some time, they are angry hurtful and mean. I figure it will get better in time.

    False: If you are dating a spinal cord injury wheelchair user who is mean and angry, 90% of the time you will come to find they were mean and angry before the wheelchair. Everybody has their bad days but that is no excuse. You should never tolerate abuse. Do not make threats to leave. Pack up and leave. At the very least, move away from anyone who is angry and abusive to you.

  11. Easy Target: Wheelchair users are easy to rape use and abuse for sex.

    False: Wheelchair users have open access to protective services and often carry a vital call alarm. The rape and abuse of disabled people is a very serious crime. Paraplegics can fight back. They have more upper body strength than regular people and know how to use it.

  12. Easy to Disable: I feel safe dating paraplegics because I can easy tip them out of their wheelchair if they annoy me.

    False: You can tip them out but they can get back in quickly and heaven help you when they do. When others learn of what you have done you will not be safe. Never tip any wheelchair user out of their chair unless they ask you to.

  13. Baggage: When dating paraplegics you have to put their wheelchair in the car. Lift them in and out of the car. Carry a butt-load of medical supplies. It’s just a big drama to go out.

    False: Paraplegics can transfer from their wheelchair into a car without help. Some use a sliding board (short smooth board to slide on) to make it safe and easy. They can pull their wheelchair apart and stow it in the back seat of the car. It is polite to offer assistance. Don’t feel bad if it is refused. Many paraplegics will already drive their own car with hand controls.

  14. Catheters: I want to know what the deal is with catheters but I do not want to seem rude and ask my date how they pee and stuff. Should I just go ahead and ask?

    True: Yes go ahead and ask. Most dating paraplegics and wheelchair users don’t find such questions rude. They are happy to talk about and explain how they go to the bathroom. After all, if things go well, you will both get more intimate than that at some point. It is good to know how your wheelchair partner functions before that happens.

  15. Repulsed: I cannot get over the catheter thing. It really turns me off sex.

    True: It is fair to say that kind of thing is not pretty. No paraplegic likes having to poke a tube up their private to drain their bladder, but they don’t get much choice. Ask them how they got over it. Give it some time and you might get more used to the idea. If the catheter is in during sex, ask them about taking it out for sex. Most paraplegics can go without a catheter for several hours.

  16. Parking Permit: I am only dating paraplegics for the parking.

    False: You are only easy to please or just butt lazy. Disability parking permits only apply to people who medically qualify for them. Sticker or no sticker, if they are not in the car, you may not park there. Everyone knows the best thing about dating paraplegics is the oral sex!

  17. Restricted Access: You miss out on things dating paraplegics. It’s like dragging an anchor around. You can only go places that have wheelchair access. That means boring and not spontaneous.

    False: Many people dating paraplegics enjoy all kinds of physical activities. They can fly, hike, swim, etc. and play most any sport. Night clubs, rock concerts and cinemas are just a few places where wheelchair users are given priority seating and access.

  18. Opening Doors: Should I open the door?

    False: Ask them, “May I get the door for you?” If you do open it, don’t stand in the way or stretch your arm out for them to go under. In general when dating paraplegics it’s polite for a man to open the door for a woman.

  19. Travel: There are limited places to go dating paraplegics and it costs extra to travel.

    False: Paraplegics often qualify for discounted fares. Some airlines allow a companion to fly free with any full fare paying wheelchair user. No country in the world bans wheelchair users or dating paraplegics. It may just take a little more planning.

  20. Beaches: Don’t go to the beach when dating paraplegics. They get stuck in soft sand.

    True: A standard manual push chair will get stuck in soft sand. You can drag them through backwards but that will exhaust you quickly. Wheelchair users love the beach and warm sunny places. Just stick to beaches with a boardwalk or pier until you get to know what they are capable of. They might prefer a quad bike or 4 wheel drive.

  21. Never Say Walk: It’s rude to say let’s go for a walk when dating paraplegics.

    False: They don’t care. They know what you mean.

  22. Second Person: If someone asks me, what my date wants, should I answer for them?

    False: Politely tell them to ask your date instead.

  23. Income: I do not want to work all day while they sit at home and do nothing.

    True: Paraplegics do sit all day. Many work part-time to supplement a disability pension or hold down a full-time job. Some are career professionals. They may not like you sitting around doing nothing all day either.

  24. House Maid: Dating paraplegics is good because they like to pick up after you.

    False: You won’t be dating paraplegics for long if you are messy. Wheelchair users do not like clothes left on the floor. They get tangled in their castor wheels, and may cause them to fall from their chair. They do not like to pick up after you. That includes your friends, if they make a mess, they better clean it up.

  25. Home Access: Back at their home they told me, “Don’t touch my stuff.” But I am not a klutz.

    True: It is something dating paraplegics have to say a lot. Not because you are a klutz. If they go for the phone in an emergency, only to find you have moved it beyond their reach, you may cause them harm. Their stuff may look out of place to you, and most won’t mind you touching, but always put things back the way you found them.

  26. Yard Work: Can they mow the lawn and keep the yard tidy?

    True: Gardening is a very popular hobby amongst wheelchair users. Paraplegics can drive ride on mowers, tractors, harvesters, handle a saw etc. Most with a house in the suburbs pay someone to mow their lawn, and clean the gutters out. The rest they can take care of. Pot plants, home gardens, and raised garden beds are easy to look after.

  27. Drug Addicts: Paraplegics are a good source of drugs.

    False: Paraplegics require little to no medication. They avoid taking prescribed drugs as much as possible.

  28. Retarded: All wheelchair users are retarded in some way. A spinal cord injury causes brain damage. Paraplegics have all kinds of emotional issues and mental problems.

    False: A spinal cord injury is certainly a traumatic event. It does not cause brain damage. For the most part, rehab after a spinal cord injury gives paraplegics a new lease on life. Paraplegics who are open to dating are more than often well adjusted, and emotionally well balanced.

  29. Plenty Of Fish: There are so many non-disabled why bother dating the disabled?

    True: There are more able-bodied. Dating paraplegics is just as risky and rewarding as dating able-bodied people. No one group or type of person should be excluded. But we all have our own likes and dislikes. We are all free to chose who we date.

  30. Approval: Pressure from family and friends. He is only dating paraplegic girls because he can’t get a real woman. My friends and family don’t approve.

    False: This is a very narrow minded and ignorant statement for anyone to make. There are many positives to dating paraplegics. More than often in public these days those dating paraplegics get noticed and praised. Paraplegics are smart people. They will be quick to tell anyone with such bias opinions to grow up or go away.

  31. Rejection: I would like to date a paraplegic but I know nothing about disability and wheelchair life. I am afraid I will be rejected.

    True: Your advances may be declined, not because you know nothing about disability. When it comes to love, the feeling is not always mutual. C’est la vie (such is life). If a disabled person rejects you it does not mean you are un-lovable. They simply aren’t ready to date or don’t feel a strong enough love attraction toward you.

  32. Bunny Boiler: Wheelchair users are very needy. If I am dating paraplegics and it doesn’t work out, when I leave they will have plenty of time on their hands to stalk me.

    False: With that attitude they will be glad to see you leave. Paraplegics are no more or less needy than anyone else. They got over breaking their spine, I’m sure they will get over you.

Resources

 

wheelchair disability fetish woman

Disability Fetish and Medical Fetish

A fetish is like a spider web. A fetish means to have a sexual arousal to an object behavior or type of person. Simple enough, until you try to describe an individual’s fetish to someone. It is like trying to guide them to one particular span of a spider web, without pointing at it. Adding to the complexity many fetish can overlap each other. A person with a disability fetish may also have some parts of a medical fetish. We separate the two, explain them, and look at their differences.

I think most of us have been guilty of over using the term fetish at one time or another. Bragging about your favorite fishing rod does not mean you have a fishing rod fetish. While I have heard some of my friends describe their fishing rod as if it were an extension of their penis, in clinical terms it does not qualify as a fetish.

Disability Fetish

Abasiophilia is the medical term given to those who are sexually aroused by and attracted to disabled people. It may be a minor disability like missing fingers, or a profound one like blindness. Some of the most common disability fetish are a strong sexual attraction to amputee’s and paralyzed wheelchair users such as paraplegics and quadriplegics with a spinal cord injury.

wheelchair disability fetish woman

Wheelchair disability fetish woman with crutches and neck brace

The extreme form of disability fetish is a very strong desire to be disabled. So strong, a person with an extreme disability fetish may elect to have their legs broken, limbs amputated, or even paralyzed by having their spinal cord cut. These people are often called wheelchair wannabes, because they are attracted to and want to be in a wheelchair.

I know of one girl who loves wheelchairs so much she spent her first year of college living in one. At the end of the year she went to stand up out of the wheelchair and collapsed on the floor. By using a wheelchair for so long her leg muscles had wasted and they could no longer support her. She was quite happy about her new found disability.

Many find it hard to understand why any one would want to have a perfectly healthy limb amputated. I try to explain it this way. They do not find perfect people attractive. They see disabled as normal, and normal people as disabled. With an extreme atypical disability fetish they can feel very uncomfortable with a healthy limb. Only once that limb is disabled or removed do they feel good with it.

Less extreme disability fetish include the sexual arousal and attraction to disability equipment. The medical term for this is Paraphilia. By wearing leg braces, plaster casts, and using a wheelchair to feel disabled, they become sexually aroused. You may have heard of the term wheelchair pretender. Because wheelchair pretenders fake a disability for sexual arousal they are a much maligned group. Wheelchair pretenders are not seen in public very often. Please don’t go tipping people out of their wheelchair because you think they are faking it.

[nggtags gallery=disability-fetish]

A disability fetish does not have to be a love of a particular object. It can take many forms. Some feel a strong sexual attraction to the actual disabled person. In the case of spinal cord injury they are known as wheelchair devotees. With an attraction to wheelchair users, a wheelchair devotee often knows what life in a wheelchair is like. Therefore, they make good lovers and life partners to wheelchair users.

Very few real wheelchair users have a disability fetish. They only use a wheelchair because they have to. Most wheelchair users do have an interest in disability and medical devices but it is not a sexual attraction or arousal. Wheelchair users may also be attracted to other wheelchair users, but again it is not usually in a disability fetish, or love interest kind of way. They are simply interested in like-minded people.

Medical Fetish

An atypical medical fetish is a strong attraction to medical apparatus purely for erotic sexual gratification. People with an extreme medical fetish use torturous medical devices, speculum’s, mouth and anal spreaders, enema kits, probes etc. They may even consent to false operations where they are surgically opened, and with nothing fixed or removed, sutured closed. An extreme medical fetish can be a dangerous thing.

Medical fetish woman in wheelchair and neck brace

Medical fetish woman in wheelchair and neck brace

In recent clinical observations extreme medical fetish are being aligned with identity disorders and OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorders). OCD are an anxiety disorder in which people have unwanted and repeated thoughts, feelings, ideas, obsessions, or behaviors. They get a very strong compolsion to think or act a certain way. Often when it is acted on it results in self harm. For example, an obsession to wear a neck collar constantly will result in weak neck muscles causing all kinds of harmful problems. We do not condone self harm in any way.

Our featured model is sexually aroused by a skin tight rubber dress, wheelchair and stiff neck collar. It is not a case of extreme fetish or OCD. The restrictive elements are disability fetish. She likes the feeling of being disabled that they give. The apparatus that excite her, wheelchair and neck collar, are medical fetish. This is a prime example of how several fetish can overlap.

These less extreme medical fetish, the sexual arousal of wearing orthopedic leg braces (calipers), plaster casts, spinal braces, and wheelchairs are common. In such settings the wheelchair simply becomes a device to fuel erotic pleasure. The same way some people find a vibrator or lingerie sexually arousing. Some like the feel some like the look. For the most part these mild forms of medical fetish are harmless.

[nggtags gallery=medical-fetish]

A medical fetish can include a sexual attraction to medical people. Doctor and nurse porn movies, people receiving medical examinations and so on. Most are simply role play, and they are not very good actors at that. You know, the movies where the patient suddenly finds their spinal cord injury is cured by the sight of a half dressed doctor or nurse, and well… you can guess the rest. If it were only that easy I would be walking. These “actors” give doctor’s, nurses, wheelchair pretenders and real wheelchair users a bad name.

It is rare for a real wheelchair user with a spinal cord injury to have a disability fetish. They may be interested in medical apparatus, wheelchairs and mobility equipment. They may have a great appreciation for doctors and nurses. But seldom is it in a sexual medical fetish way. Just as some people with a spinal cord injury use an enema, it is not by choice, they consider it a chore. We don’t find probes sexy.

Conclusions

wheelchair fetish disability fetish medical fetish woman

Wheelchair fetish disability fetish medical fetish woman

Disability fetish are grossly mis-represented in the commercial sex industry. Gimp calendars and videos of amputees having sex are a poor representation of real life. In true atypical form a disability fetish is a sexual arousal to disability equipment or a desire to be disabled. A medical fetish can range from an attraction to wheelchairs to torturous medical devices. In the extreme a fetish can be harmful to your health.

Most disabled wheelchair users do not like to see wheelchair pretenders use a wheelchair to gain pity, sympathy, money, or special service. Neither does the general public. Wheelchair devotees are attracted to wheelchair users and so make good partners to them in love and life. However, not all wheelchair devotees have the best interests of wheelchair users in mind.

Resources

  1. All images used in this article are courtesy of Ultimate Psycho. Model; Lou Moon. You may not use or redistrubute any of the images that appear in this article without express written permission from the copyright holder; Ultimate Psycho.
  2. Blais MA, Smallwood P, Groves JE, Rivas-Vazquez RA. Personality and personality disorders. In: Stern TA, Rosenbaum JF, Fava M, Biederman J, Rauch SL, eds. Massachusetts General Hospital Comprehensive Clinical Psychiatry. 1st ed. Philadelphia, Pa: Mosby Elsevier; 2008:chap 39.
  3. Feinstein RE, Connelly JV. Personality disorders. In: Rakel RE, ed. Textbook of Family Medicine. 7th ed. Philadelphia, Pa: Saunders Elsevier;2007:chap 60.
  4. Koran LM, Hanna GL, Hollander E, Nestadt G, Simpson HB, et al. Practice guideline for the treatment of patients with obsessive-compulsive disorder. Am J Psychiatry. 2007;164:5-53. [PubMed: 17849776]

 Websites

Dating Paraplegic Girls

Dating Paraplegic Girls

This is the story of how I met Jeff and our first date together.  Dating paraplegic girls isn’t for everyone.  Jeff doesn’t seem to mind dating paraplegic girls or that I’m handicapped.  We have really hit it off.  I still can’t believe, if I wasn’t running late for work that day, we may have never met.  Being in a rush, I decided to go in my wheelchair, without the leg braces I usually wear.  I am a paraplegic, paralyzed from just above my waist down to my feet.  I have been a paraplegic since I was a little girl.  I’ve really never known anything different.

My legs are very thin and flaccid, but I still think of myself as attractive, even sexy.  I’ve have long flowing hair over a pretty face and large breasts over a tiny waist.  My ample breasts are my best feature so I like to show them off a little with a tight blouse.  Most men say I’m attractive but are not interested in dating paraplegic girls or dating wheelchair girls in general.  I guess it’s just hard for some men to commit to a relationship with a handicapped girl. Most of the reasons I have been given for not dating paraplegic girls are based on false beliefs.

Wheelchair Friendly Workplace

I work in a big wheelchair friendly office building where I have to go from room to room a lot. About a year ago I started wearing long leg braces and using crutches to maneuver around the building. It’s much easier than getting a wheelchair through crowded hallways and elevators. The braces start at the tops of my thighs and go down to knee locks so I can bend my legs if I’m sitting. From there they go down to my ankles where I can attach any number of shoes I like to wear.

I have all kinds of shoes from athletic shoes to sandals for the summer.  My favorites though are the high heels I wear at work.  I have all kinds, mostly around three inch.  My right leg is also a little shorter than my left one, another part of my disability.  My right leg just stopped growing when I was about 13 and my left leg continued to grow until I was about 17.  It’s really not that much difference, but to make up for it most of my shoes have a built-up sole on the right side, and are one size smaller since that foot is smaller.

Why Use a Wheelchair Leg Braces and Crutches

dating disabled girls in wheelchair crutches and leg braces

Dating disabled girls leg braces

I’ve learned to use my leg braces pretty well and walk with a swing through gait. That means I put both forearm crutches out in front of me and swing both legs through the middle.  Since I don’t have any control of my waist or legs my shorter right leg kind of swings first and my left drags the floor just a little as it swings through.  Wearing leg braces under slacks is difficult.  I am used to people staring at my legs as I am almost always in a skirt or dress.  Once it would have made me uncomfortable.  Now I even like to show the leg braces off a little.  Sometimes my skirts barely cover the thigh straps on the tops of my braces.

I’ve become used to wearing pantyhose too which I never used to do.  Without the pantyhose, the pads on the braces rub my legs too much.  But that day I was just in my wheelchair wearing a little skirt just above my knees.  The blouse was a little on the tight side with pantyhose and my two inch platform style heels.  Getting around in my leg braces on crutches is slow and I’ve fallen many times.  My wheelchair is safer and faster but I cannot stand up to reach things without the leg braces. So I mostly use both wheelchair and leg braces together. Guys into dating paraplegic girls are often into stockings and pantyhose as well.

Meeting Paraplegic Girls

When I use my wheelchair I don’t need a pair of shoes with a build-up.  There’s no reason to and it’s hardly noticeable.  The footrests on my chair are in the middle and close together. The right footrest plate is just a little higher to make up the difference in my leg length.  I was on the way to the file room when I took a corner too fast and actually ran into this very handsome man in a suit.  I was so embarrassed!  Not so much because I ran into him, but when I did, my right foot actually came off the footrest, knocking my shoe off.

Not having any feeling in my legs or feet I didn’t know my shoe was off until I noticed the man kept looking down.  I looked too and could see the pink polish on my toenails through my tan pantyhose.  Now most everyone has seen my legs of course, but I realized at that moment no one at work has ever seen my bare feet.  They are so limp and thin. I was really was embarrassed. This man had to see me pick my leg up with my hands and get my foot back on the footrest of the wheelchair.

I’ve noticed before that people like to stare.  Especially men dating paraplegic girls.  They like to see how a handicapped girl moves her legs with her hands getting out of a car, and things like that.  Sometimes, when I know I have an audience, I put on a little show.  I struggle a little more than I really have to.  Not this time.  After the man noticed my red face, he quickly looked away, fumbling around reaching for my shoe.  He handed the shoe to me awkwardly.  He looked so cute now blushing just as much as I was.  I thanked him and pulled my leg up by lifting under one knee.  This makes my foot point down. I hooked my toes with the shoe and pulled it onto the heel of my foot.  He introduced himself as Jeff. We both made our apologies and started talking about where we were going, what our jobs were, who we knew and things like that.

Somehow we got on the subject of baseball. Jeff asked me if would like to watch the game that night with him at a bar a few blocks from the office.  I really didn’t know what to say at first.  I would love to go on a date with this handsome, polite man.  But I get so nervous on first dates.  I’m also very cautious of guys only interested in dating paraplegic girls.  Being in a wheelchair we are a bit more vulnerable.  I always feel like my disability is just hanging out there.  Like, I know men new to dating paraplegic girls, want to ask me about my disability.  But if I start offering information about my disability, or ask them about dating paraplegic girls, they seem to get uncomfortable.  So I took a chance and just said yes.  That I would like to see him after work.  We made a meeting place and parted ways for the afternoon.

I am having a very hard time of going from one end of the desirable scale to the other virtually overnight. My ego is shot to bits as I am constantly passed over. Imagine having someone hounding you to get together but they have failed to read the profile. When they finally learn I am in a wheelchair they suddenly do a fast reverse as they run for the hills. The reality of the situation is I am still able to do most everything I did before. I downhill ski, enjoy my water access only cottage, I drive my car, I work. I still crave all the emotional and physical needs we all want. – Little Lady 57, on dating paraplegic girls.

Dating Paraplegic Girls Vulnerable to Insecurities

dating paraplegic girls in wheelchairs

Dating paraplegic girls in wheelchairs

That evening, we met as expected and walked, well I wheeled, down to the bar for a few drinks.  Nothing serious just good conversation and all to soon I was home.  It wasn’t even dark!  Walking me to my car I couldn’t help but think he didn’t like me.  My disability was a turn-off.  Oh well, just another guy not interested in dating paraplegic girls I thought.  I tried to push all my insecurities to the back of my mind.  Just then, he asked me how I came to be in a wheelchair.  Jeff confided that he had noticed me around the office but only knew me as, “the girl who wears leg braces.”  I was greatly relieved when he told me he thought I was sexy.  He had wanted to approach me many times but was too shy to talk.  He said he knew nothing about dating paraplegic girls.

Back at my car Jeff offered to help me get in.  Of course I told him I could manage as I did it every day.  We made plans for dinner the next evening.  He pecked me on the cheek and walked away to where his car was parked.  I slid my butt into the seat of my Volvo and put my legs in one at a time.  My car has hand controls and a wheelchair lift that keeps the chair over the roof.  I don’t have to get the wheelchair into the car after I get in it.

Intensions Dating Paraplegic Girls

Our dinner date the next evening couldn’t come fast enough.  He dropped by my office around lunch on his way to a meeting to say hi and to make sure he was still picking me up at 7:30.  That day I was in my wheelchair wearing my leg braces as usual.  I couldn’t help but notice his glancing eyes when he came in my office.  I was wearing a longer skirt, around mid-calf, so he could only see a little of my braces and my black three inch high heels. I was still curious about his exact intension dating paraplegic girls.

Jeff asked if I would be “walking or riding” that night (meaning was I going to be using my braces or wheelchair).  We shared a laugh at his cleverness and I asked which would he prefer.  He told me he was interested in seeing me use my leg braces.  Admitting he had no experience dating paraplegic girls. He had never been out with a disabled woman before, only regular girls.  That was exactly what I needed to hear. I immediately thought, I have just the outfit for you handsome.  Again feeling aroused at the thought of him wanting to see me.  Before I got to wet I eagerly agreed to use the leg braces and he went on to his meeting.

Shower and Dressing Handicapped Style

That evening when I arrived home I bathed myself in the shower. I have a special shower chair just for bathing.  Most mobility handicapped folks use one.  It stays in the shower. I transfer from my wheelchair into it and back out again.  Sitting on just a towel, naked in my wheelchair, I dried my hair and my upper body.  Then I pulled each leg up to my lap and dried them off.  I put on some makeup and teased my hair then went to dress.  First I needed just the right bra.  A sexy bustier to push my breasts up would work.  Skimpy and lingerie like enough to be inviting. If Jeff proves okay with dating paraplegic girls, he would be getting to see a whole lot more of me, than on our first date.

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I went with a silky, dark purple bra with black lace over most of the cup.  The mirror over my dresser told me with a close look you could actually see my nipples through the lace.  My nipples hardened as my thoughts drifted off to my date seeing me in my delicate bra.  I smiled taking panties that matched the bra and a pair of tan pantyhose from my dresser and wheeled to my bed.  Shifted my butt to the bed and pulled my legs up behind me.  One foot at a time through the panties and up my legs got them to the tops of my thighs.  I bunched up the waistband and with a quick bum hop motion slid my bottom into my panties.

The pantyhose were next.  Still sitting up with my lifeless paralyzed legs out in front of me, I pulled one leg up to my chest.  Bunching up one leg of the hose, I worked it over my small foot and over my ankle.  By letting my leg fall back into place, I pulled the nylon up along my leg to around my knee, and repeated the process with the other leg.  I straightened the hose around my feet and calves, making it a little tighter.  Then I worked the hose up my legs and to my thighs just like the panties. A tip for any guys dating paraplegic girls. We go to a lot of trouble to look nice for you, be sure to compliment us.

With the pantyhose, I have to lay back on the bed and kind of lift my bottom as I pull the hose to my waist.  I’ve known other paraplegics my whole life, and just about all of them find it easier to wear thigh-high hose, so they only have to worry about dressing one leg at a time.  My problem is my legs are so thin around my thighs. Those type of hose would actually end up sliding down my legs before I made it to my car.  My legs just aren’t big enough to hold them up, so the full pantyhose are my only choice.

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I rolled over to the side of the bed and picked up both leg braces, laying them on the bed beside my legs.  Using one hand, I lifted my leg from just above my ankle.  I could feel the pantyhose under my hand.  I wondered what it felt like for a woman that could feel her legs.  Wonder what it would feel like to have your legs wrapped in pantyhose.  Feeling them rub against each other under your skirt, or what pantyhose felt like over your feet.  I guess I’ll never know. I just enjoy the feeling that comes from my hand.  I took my other hand and laid the leg brace under my leg. Where I could place my leg in the shiny steel cradle of the brace.  The strap under my knee gets tightened first, then above my knee, then my thigh strap.

I do the same with my right leg, lifting the leg into the brace and fastening the straps tightly on my legs.  I still can’t walk with the braces yet because I don’t keep any shoes attached to the braces.  I unlock the knees so my legs will bend and slide myself back to my waiting wheelchair.  I can lift my legs now using my hands on the braces, so I lift them one at a time into the footrests of the chair and go to my shoes.  The dress I’ll be wearing is a cute one piece black one, so my black pumps would probably look best.  I place the shoes in my lap, now it’s back to the bed.  Once in the bed, knees still unlocked, I pull each leg up so I can reach my foot, still naked in its nylon.

My shoes have to be tight to support my weight with the braces so it’s a little hard getting them on.  Putting a high heel shoe onto a foot that you can’t stiffen is not an easy task.  So with a little work I get the shoes onto my feet and attach them to the braces.  Now lowering my legs to the floor, I lock the leg braces straight and reach for my crutches.  Standing, slowly at first to keep my balance, I begin to take my first swinging step to my closet.  I’ve been using these leg braces for a year now, and I still can’t believe how stiff they keep my paralyzed legs. 

[nggtags gallery=leg-braces]

After spending 28 years not being able to walk, sometimes I can’t actually believe it’s my legs I’m standing on. Showered and dressed in my bra pantyhose and leg braces, I can stand to wiggle into that tight black dress.  I know it will make Jeff’s eyes pop!  I can stand without crutches as long as I have something to balance myself on. I just can’t take any steps without crutches.  So I balance against the dresser and lean the crutches against the bed.  I pull the dress over my head and around my body, smoothing out the soft fabric and letting it fall just above my knees. 

There’s a slit in the side that almost exposes the very top of my braces, and probably will once I sit down somewhere.  After a few looks in the mirror I decided I was ready for the evening date and crutched it back to my wheelchair.  I told you dating paraplegic girls go to a lot of trouble.

Pre Disability Dating Nerves

I use the wheelchair at home even if I’m wearing the braces.  It’s just easier and it keeps my hands free.  Since the one footrest is a little higher for my shorter leg, and I was now wearing my braces with the built up shoe on that foot, my right leg sits up higher than my left.  I like to cross my right leg over my left, which I did of course by picking the right leg up and pulling it over the left.  I took notice of the slit in my dress when I did that to see just how much of my leg was exposed.  I could see to just under the thigh strap of my brace, perfect I grinned.  It should be just enough to get Jeff wanting to see more.  I was very keen to make his first time dating paraplegic girls enjoyable.

I sat staring at my disabled legs in braces wondering how the events of the evening would go.  I heard the knock at my door I had been waiting on.  I turned my wheelchair and headed for the door.  When I got to the door, I invited Jeff in, the door was open.  He entered looking great and holding flowers. He immediately complimented me on my choice of dress.  It’s like this guy swallowed the book on dating paraplegic girls.

I retreated to the kitchen with the flowers for a vase as he sat down in the living room.  We made typical small talk about work that day while I tended to the flowers.  Then I went to the bedroom for my crutches and returned to Jeff swinging my legs a little slower than usual, and dragging that left leg a little more than usual.  I had already decided that I wanted to put on a good show for Jeff.  He would see just how crippled I really am, a kind of acid test to sort the men from the boys.

With my thin legs wrapped in the nylons and leg braces, and my sexiest black pumps Jeff couldn’t take his eyes off my legs.  I could feel his eyes burning on me as I descended the ramp off my front porch and to his car where he held the door open.  I ask him to take my crutches for me, which of course he did, and I transferred myself down into the car seat, still stiff-legged.  I showed him how the leg brace knee locks work (in case he wanted to know for later).  I pulled both legs in at once to keep my dress from opening up for the world to see. Jeff stowed the crutches and wheelchair and off we went.

Sexy Handicapped Women and Public Reactions

The valet at the restaurant couldn’t believe his eyes when he opened the car door.  The common public reaction to seeing a sexy handicapped girl is one of confusion.  Many have trouble connecting the two, sexy and handicapped.  They often look my date up and down for signs of a disability.  Like they think you have to be disabled to be dating paraplegic girls.

I swung my braced legs out and let the knee locks snap into place.  Jeff quickly came around with my crutches and helped me to my feet.  Jeff sternly pointed out to the valet how the wheelchair ramp was blocked with a sign that had fallen from the building.  I told them I could manage the four steps up to the entrance.  I was actually secretly excited that Jeff would get to see me conquer the steps.

I told Jeff I needed him to hold one of my crutches and stand behind me in case I slipped.  With my left crutch on the first step, and my right hand on the handrail, I pushed against the crutch and let my legs drag behind me up onto the step.  My right leg came first as usual, and then my left.  I had to twist my body a little to get my left foot over the step.  I could then stand to move my crutch to the second step.  I took the steps slowly, giving Jeff plenty of time to see the braces through the slit in my skirt and enjoy my struggling up the steps.  I made it to the door fine, where the doorman held the door for us both.

A True Gentleman Dating Paraplegic Girls

Dinner was perfect, with a little wine Jeff seemed to be enjoying his first experience dating paraplegic girls.  Wine gets people talking and it certainly did its trick on us.  Jeff confided that he had never known my legs were different lengths and was interested in the thick sole on my right shoe.  I explained how my shoes were of different sizes due to my right foot being smaller.  He told me how gracefully I moved in the leg braces, and how beautiful he thought I was.  This one is a keeper I thought to myself.  Despite never dating paraplegic girls before Jeff remained a true gentleman sensitive to my dsability.  I hadn’t felt so safe and comfortable to just be me in a long time.  When it comes to dating paraplegic wheelchair girls, and dating women with a disability, being called special is very different from being made feel truly special.  A true gentleman knows the difference.

One time I shifted under the table and moved my leg out just far enough for him to feel my brace against his leg.  I saw his cheeks blush and gave him a little smile.  I quietly reassured him that I was okay with him touching the braces and that I admired him very much.  I even pushed my chair in a little where the pad on the knee was rubbing the inside of his thigh.  We sat like this through dinner and through our second bottle of wine by the time the check came.  Jeff kept his hand around my waist as we made our way outside and down those steps to the car.  Jeff took my crutches without my asking and I pulled my legs into the car.

Disability Parking and No Stopping Short

We leaned into each other on the ride back to my house. Jeff’s hand wandered over to my thigh where he politely asked, “May I?”  His hand rubbed gently, first on my dress, then around through the slit and between the upright parts of my brace.  His strong warm hand paused when he softy touched the skin of my silky smooth thigh making me gasp.   I couldn’t exactly feel his hand, but knowing it was there gave me chills, and greatly aroused me.  Even though I’m paralyzed, I can still function sexually, and feel an orgasm.  The physical part is a little hard, since I can’t really move my waist or legs, but the feeling is there all the same.

dating paraplegic girls lovers emnbrace

Paraplegic lovers embrace

When we got home, I invited him in and got out of the car where he was waiting with my crutches.  I crutched up to the door, again with his hand on my waist only it was a little lower this time.  We went in and I started making coffee, crutching with my braced legs around the kitchen.  I told him I was going to take my braces off so we could get comfortable on the couch when he said something that shocked me.  He ask me if he could help take my leg braces off.  I could see that he was beginning to get aroused and thought I could have lots of fun with this, as I was aroused too.  So I said he could and swung my legs through my crutches over to the couch.

I thought about getting my wheelchair first so I wouldn’t be totally helpless after my braces were off but then thought better or it.  Jeff had gotten this far, perhaps he would like carrying me to my bedroom.  I sat on the couch with my legs straight out in front of me with feet resting on the floor.  I instructed Jeff to move my skirt to the side and unlock my knees so my legs would bend in.  He released the locks and pulled the lower parts of my legs in toward the couch.  He was fast becoming an expert at dating paraplegic girls.

I suggested, “I’d like to lay back if you could pull my legs to the couch for me.”  With a nod I reclined and he pulled my legs to the couch and up into his lap.  He did them together so as not to spread. My skirt rode up anyway past the tops of the braces and revealing the darker part of my pantyhose.  He said sorry and pulled my skirt back over my legs.  I told him it was okay.  I kind of knew it would happen and didn’t mind one bit.

dating paraplegic girls removing leg brace

Removing paraplegic girls leg brace

I have to say I’ve never had a man touch me like this and help me with my leg braces. I was getting extremely turned on by watching his hands on my thin flaccid legs and touching my braces.  I asked if he would mind taking the upright part of the leg braces off of the shoes.  Then slide my shoes off of my feet.  I bit on my bottom lip as he did so eagerly but gently. 

I watched him slowly ease my pumps off revealing my left foot then my smaller right foot.  He took a minute to study the difference in my feet.  All the things I thought were a drawback in dating paraplegic girls.  My disability, spinal cord injury, the wheelchair crutches and leg braces, my flaccid legs and crippled feet.  To Jeff these things are a bonus that regular girls dont come with.  He noted the nail polish on my toes and rubbed my feet for a few minutes. I could tell he liked the feeling of my feet in the pantyhose.

He began undoing the straps on my calf and leaned in just far enough to kiss me when he reached up my skirt for the thigh band.  One hand was caressing my leg as the other took the thigh band apart, the whole time kissing me more and more intently.  After the leg brace was loose around my leg he picked my leg up letting the foot dangle. Placing the brace on the floor he moved in closer gently pushing my shoulder.  I realized I was awfully tensed up and relaxed back on the couch. 

dating paraplegic girls making love

Making love to paraplegic girls

He has the most beautiful smile.   He lay on top of me with his hands around my face.  Caressing my waist and my legs he slowly began coming closer to my breasts.  I wanted him to touch my breasts and lick my nipples so badly I could hardly stand it.  Since my right hand was already pulling his shirt from his pants, I used my left to guide his hands into my blouse.

Here I was on the couch, one leg brace on and one off, still pretty much dressed, under this man I couldn’t wait to get to my bedroom.  My blouse was off and on the floor, sexy bra not far behind.  My nipples stood erect with pleasure. I had his shirt off admiring is shoulders and chest.  The bulge in his pants told me he was erect with pleasure as well.  He pulled away just long enough to take my other brace from my leg. My skirt bunched up around my waist revealing both thin limp legs in tan pantyhose.

I now felt Jeff was very comfotable with dating paraplegic girls.  I whispered to him to carry me down the hall to the bed, and with much pleasure he did just that.  One hand around my waist, the other under my knees letting my legs fall where they wanted, he carried me down the hall to my bedroom.  He moved my wheelchair with his leg so he could place me on the bed, then fell on top of me.  He pulled my skirt off first, sliding it slowly down my nylon-clad legs and letting is slip under my feet and off to the floor.  We rolled in the bed a little longer, me just in my hose and panties underneath now, which were becoming more wet with every minute.

Paralyzed Legs Don’t Disable Lovers

Paralyzed and lusting heavily my lover took control.   His willingness to dating paraplegic girls was about to pay off.  We were ready to shift up a gear to sex with paraplegic girls.  He rolled me over wrapping my legs around his waist where I would be comfortable.  I tugged his belt off unfastened the front of his bulging pants and pulled him hard against my naked breasts.  He was huge now fully erect.  I slid his pants and shorts off his waist.  He pulled and kicked them the rest of the way off and began pulling at the waist of my pantyhose.

He slid my pantyhose down both legs at once thin and pale they are.  As he was sliding my feet out of the nylons I was already pulling my panties down, eager for him to enter me.  He was on top and had spread my legs wide at first, pulling them together around him as he came in at me.  He was lunging harder and harder.  It wasn’t long sex but I’ve never had better.  We moved together in furious rhythm.  Reaching orgasm at the same time both collapsing exhausted.

We lay laughing together for a long time talking about the act we had so passionately committed.  Jeff went to the bathroom to wash off.  I waited for him to finish and had him to bring me a towel for my wheelchair.  I put the towel in the chair and slid over into it.  My paralyzed legs followed.  Wrapping the towel around my midsection I put my feet in their rests.  Naked except for the towel, I too washed off and returned to bed where we both slept. Knowing soon we both would have to prepare for work.

Disability Lovers Finding New Legs

This morning was almost as exciting as last night. I got to do something I’ve never done before.  Jeff had a change of clothes in his car which he got while I was bathing.  While he showered I went about getting ready as usual.  I chose my outfit for the day:  Red skirt and black top, jet-black pantyhose, and the same black pumps from the night before.  I retrieved my braces and heels from the front room using my wheelchair.  As I was returning to the bedroom Jeff came in.  His hair wet and oh so sexy fresh from the shower.  He took my leg braces and put them on the bed for me, asking if he could put them on.  Wow I thought, of course I didn’t mind, I was excited by the idea.  I had to keep reminding myself Jeff was actually new to dating paraplegic girls.  I had to take things slowly.

I needed to get my panties and pantyhose on as I was still naked except for the towel.  He picked me up from the wheelchair like the night before and laid me on the bed.  He actually picked up the clothes I laid out and began dressing me!  First the panties which he slid one foot at a time through them and pulled them up my legs.  He stopped me when I tried to help and I couldn’t help but smile. I laid back, and let him lift my bottom while his free hand pulled the panties around my waist.  He took the black pantyhose, and lifting one foot at a time, pulled each stocking onto my feet and legs, and up to my thighs where he had to lift my bottom again.

dating paraplegic girls

Dating paraplegic girls

He smoothed my legs out and picked up the brace for my left leg.  He placed my thin leg into its brace and fastened the straps in reverse order from the night before.  Lifting my foot a little, he wiggled it into the high heel pump and attached it to the brace.  Then he ask me if I could walk using only one leg brace.  Well I didn’t know if I could or not as I had never tried.  Thinking it might turn him on to see me try I wanted to see if I could.  My man would there to catch me if I couldn’t.

Jeff retrieved my crutches from the front room and I lowered my leg onto the floor.  The knee clicked into its locked position.  I balanced on the one stiff leg at first.  Noticing with the three inch heel, my shorter right leg dangled about five inches above the floor.  So I extended the crutches, and pulled my body forward letting my right leg swing freely.  Pulling my left behind it dragged a little more than before on the floor.  My firm naked breasts jiggled as I struggled around the bedroom.  Dating paraplegic girls does have its perks.  My bouncing boobs were two of them. 

I could actually do this I thought. Walking on one brace only if I wanted, leaving my shorter leg hanging.  I got Jeff to take another one of my high heels without the brace attachment made into it and slide it over my right foot.  This almost made up the difference to the floor. Making the toe of the shoe point downward and barely touching the floor.  I crutched around for a few minutes.  Leaning on my one stiff braced leg and dragging the other limp leg behind.  I let the toe of the pump slide on the floor.

Like the night before I could see Jeff becoming aroused at the sight of my frail paralyzed legs. I realized he was attracted not only to me but my disability as well.  I became excited at the idea.  It was nice to know I didn’t have to try and be like any other woman he had been with.  I could be comfortable about my handicap knowing Jeff liked dating paraplegic girls.  He was more than okay with my spinal cord injury.  He liked my wheelchair, leg braces, crutches and my disability.

After crutching around a bit I went back to the bed and pulled myself bottom first onto it.  I pulled my right leg to my chest and took off the smaller pump revealing my foot in only the pantyhose.  I took the other leg brace and laid it under my leg.  Jeff helped me with the straps and put my other pump on.  The one with the build-up on the bottom and attached it to the brace.  He also helped me on with my skirt while I put my bra and blouse on.

Jeff thoroughly enjoyed his first time dating paraplegic girls.  I’m so glad it was with me!  We didn’t bother asking about taking separate cars to work.  He drove and I’m sure after work today he’ll drive me home. We’ll spend another exciting night together as disability lovers.  Maybe tonight I’ll show him how I sometimes drag myself from room to room in the house.  Let him see me pull my thin lifeless legs around without the braces crutches or the wheelchair.  Dating paraplegic girls does require a little patience and understanding.  And with that, I wish you all the happiness and love in dating paraplegic girls, that I have come to find.

Kristi Eden

Resources

Perfect Imperfection Rasso Bruckert photograph of disabled man in wheelchair

Perfect Imperfect

Rasso Bruckert captures disability through the camera lens in a strikingly warm photographic collection Perfect Imperfect themed on nudity and handicaps, showing with sensitivity yet openly and very directly, that disabled people are totally capable of developing their sexuality, self-confidence, individual esthetics’s and eroticism.

Perfect Imperfection Rasso Bruckert photograph of disabled man in wheelchair

Perfect Imperfection Rasso Bruckert

Bruckert challenges us to re-think the concept of beauty. If we desire love, partnership and sexuality in a confident and satisfying way we might first begin by accepting, appreciating and maybe even loving our own bodies. 

Now it stands for us to redefine the term “beauty”, to create it consciously and individually. 

The idea for his photographic series Perfect Imperfect came to Bruckert back when he was studying in San Francisco. Inspired by works of Robert Mapplethorpe he pondered the highly taboo thematic of nude and handicap.

Well-renound throughout Germany photographer Rasso Bruckert explains his reasons for embarking on what at the time was a most controversial undertaking Perfect Imperfect.
 

For decades there have been these dreadful pictures of us (disabled) in the media – the small, pitiable, disabled person in a corner — often badly photographed. This was always a terrible thing for me, and a sort of motivator that compelled me to try and do way with these belittling “hospital pictures” as I used to call them. 
 
Because I myself am disabled, it seemed easier for me to photograph a disabled person in the nude, as opposed to someone who was not disabled in the nude. Nevertheless, when I first asked friends to pose for me, I would approach them fearing that I would be stoned to death. – Rasso Bruckert 

The idea of photographing people with disabilities naked was never discussed openly. It was and mostly still remains a taboo subject. Nevertheless, in Perfect Imperfect Bruckert endeavors to present the physically challenged body aesthetically in all its raw sensual beauty.

Physical disablement and beauty did not coexist. Not even amongst us the disabled. Remarking, I suppose I had more barriers in my head than they did, Burckert was happily surprised to find his modeling requests were met with a spontaneous readiness to consent.

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In the beginning I was too cautious to provoke with my work. I didn’t want to hurt or compromise the feelings of others with my photographs. I have now become more open minded, I want to provoke a positive “aha”. It is my wish that the photographs grip and intrigue the viewers so that they may sense the beauty, strength and self confidence of the subject.
 
Criticism has generally been positive. People like the photographs a lot. They consider them aesthetic, interesting and erotic. They now realize that the subject “the disabled” can be viewed and dealt with in a different light. – Rasso Bruckert

Perfect Imperfect has exhibited in several cities including Germany, Switzerland, and Austria and has been seen in Atlanta, Georgia and Sydney, Australia. Commentaries of this exhibit have appeared in numerous newspapers and magazines as well as on European Television. If you get the chance to see this inspiring body of work your life will be the richer for it.

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Intimate Encounters Dominic and Lee

Intimate ENCOUNTERS

The idea for Intimate ENCOUNTERS first came to Belinda Mason-Lovering in 1998. Photographing a conference on Sexuality and Disability, Mason-Lovering became aware that although society attends to the needs of people with disabilities, it appeared unable to deal with the tangled issues surrounding sexuality. This realization spawned the development of Intimate ENCOUNTERS.

Over the next four years, Mason-Lovering traveled around Australia, meeting, photographing and engaging subjects in extensive conversations to explore their feelings and attitudes towards their own sexuality. Belinda worked with each participant to develop an image which reflected their own particular personal and emotional journey. 

Intimate ENCOUNTERS – Disability and Sexuality: features two installations and thirty photographic images with essays by 40 people who collaborated with photographer Belinda Mason-Lovering to express their desires, needs, love and affection reflecting the diversity of their experiences of disability through the lens.

Participating in this project we are making the personal political. There is a dearth of empowering, positive, sexy images of disabled people and we want to be a part of the movement to change this. We chose ‘United we sit’ as our slogan to emphasize our solidarity with other disabled people and to challenge the norms. Dominic often needs to use a wheelchair and so we wanted to incorporate his impairment into the image too. – Dominic Davies and Lee Adams

Intimate Encounters Dominic and Lee

United we sit

Dominic is an activist and a Senior Registered Practitioner with the British Association for Counseling and Psychotherapy. He is the co-editor of three volumes of Pink Therapy and a co-author of The Sexual Politics of Disability: Untold Desire. He is a Visiting Fellow at Nottingham University and a Visiting Lecturer at Leicester University. Dominic has scoliosis and chronic pain.

Lee is a curator and interdisciplinary artist, who works extensively in sculpture, theatre design, film, video, live performance and installation. He has exhibited widely. Lee is the Artistic Director and Producer of Sexmutant an international real-time and on-line project reconfiguring (trans) gender and sex(uality) in contemporary visual and live arts practice.

The men and women Mason-Lovering photographs are people with physical, intellectual, learning, psychiatric and neurological disabilities. By being photographed and by talking about their lives they share some of their most intimate thoughts and feelings with those who gaze on their images.

In the words of its creators:

Intimate ENCOUNTERS explores the myriad connections between disability and sexuality. A sense of our sexual selves is as vital to our existence as the air we breathe. This is the pervading message present in every image in the series. The quest is to create images which ‘tell a thousand words’ and which reflect sexual diversity without tokenism.

Choosing how they were represented, working in close collaboration with the photographer and taking control of their image and the text that would accompany it, was seen as a widely liberating experience for the participants, enriching the personal, political and artistic aspects of the project.

Intimate Encounters photography by Belinda Mason-LoveringThat these photographs vary from playful, romantic, passionate or heart wrenching reflects the diversity of experiences of disability, and within that the diversity of lives and desires, an acknowledgement that disability is just one part of a life experience. The intimate connections between the participants underscores the fact that all are activists and allies in a global struggle for a basic human right–the right to be a sexual person.

We all have our own, unique sexual journey, mapped out with secret adventure, whispered aspirations, with the pain of risk and the over riding urge for intimacy. It is a journey that, if fully embraced, determines and moulds our identity and self-worth.

Initmate ENCOUNTERS challenges the hidden myth in our society that only the most glamorous, attractive and successful among us live active, healthy and imaginative sexual lives. Ultimately, it’s about how we feel about our inner selves that let’s us free each other to lead larger lives.

As Kiersten Fishburn of Accessible Arts points out:

For we viewers, it is not only a beautiful and thought provoking exhibition but a chance to identify the commonalities of the need for love, for connectedness, for sexual and creative expression. It creates a dialogue that allows disability “voices” to be heard; it is one step in integrating these voices into all our cultural and community conversations. – Kiersten Fishburn

Intimate ENCOUNTERS has been touring Australia extensively for the past six years. The exhibition was seen in Sydney, Melbourne and through regional Victoria, the Northern Territory and Western Australia and internationally London, New York, New Zealand, Barcelona and Paris.

Belinda Mason has a history of pushing the limits of imaginative social documentary photography I know of no other photographer who has so consciously pursued difficult unfashionable subjects such as the sexuality of the disabled. – a body of work that seems destined for prominence – Rob McFarlane, Art Critic, Sydney Morning Herald

Audiences flocked to see the show around Australia. Media and audience reactions have been varied and not without some controversy. Reaction has ranged across the spectrum with some people horrified and confronted by nudity and the display of disability but with the vast majority finding the show eye opening, inspirational and beautiful in its honest representation of human sexuality.

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Sarah Murray photographs Kyla Harris for Access-Sex

Access Sex

Sex is all around us until disability is concerned, there it remains a taboo subject in society. It may come as a shock to some but disabled people do have sex. Access Sex is a photographic collaboration of a woman’s exploration after disability. Becoming disabled in 2000, 21 year old wheelchair user and co-owner of the Main Artery Gallery in Vancover, Kyla Harris bravely breaks the mould in a revealing expose Access Sex.

One of the first questions I’m asked when I meet a stranger is, so… can you have sex? When people meet me they are inquisitive. I am a relatively attractive young woman in a wheelchair. The reason why I’m asked this may be because of a lack in social graces, curiosity or plain ignorance. This and other catalysts, spurred me to work on a photography project with Sarah Murray called Access Sex, looking at disabilities and sexuality. The main reason why this issue needs to be addressed is because of misrepresentation (or lack of) of people with disabilities in the media. – Kyla Harris

Sarah Murray photographs Kyla Harris for Access-Sex

Kyla Harris in Access-Sex

A collection of thought provoking images that raise questions Access Sex is a collaborative work of photographs taken by Sarah Murray featuring wheelchair user Kyla Harris in a range of provocative poses. Art being primarily subjective these images connect with the many different audiences that view them. The project Access Sex aims to change predetermined ideas and prevent future misjudgments on sexuality with a disability.

Often wheelchair users and people with disabilities are seen as asexual and few examples in the media contradict that message. Similar to able-bodied people, not all people with disabilities are sexy, but that doesn’t mean people with disabilities can’t have sex or can’t enjoy it. 

According to the World Health Organization, sexuality is a basic need and aspect of being human that cannot be separated from other aspects of life. However, the world being largely media driven all to often people with disabilities are not portrayed in a positive sexual light, as able-bodied people have set the sexual standard.

In popular culture Playboy is the leading pornographic men’s magazine and has been setting sexual standards therein since 1953. All of Playboys models over that time have been able-bodied with the exception of wheelchair user Ellen Stohl, a C8/T1 incomplete quadriplegic who became the first Playboy bunny to model in July of 1987 and Aimee Mullins, an amputee from the age of one.

Aimee Mullins modeled for Alexander McQueen on the cover of Dazed and Confused in August 1998 and starred in Matthew Barney’s “Cremaster Cycle” in 2002. Apart from quadriplegic wheelchair user Ellen Stohl and amputee Aimee Mullins, people with disabilities have largely been typecast as estranged victims, hospitalized seniors and on-set extras sitting in wheelchairs to provide an institutional atmosphere. 

The project Access Sex is necessary to not only make people aware of the fact that people with disabilities are seen as asexual beings but to also highlight the origins of their thoughts on disabilities and sexuality. With a range of images the connection between disabilities and sexuality at times is merely a suggestion to ease people into something they may have never consciously thought about.
 
Ultimately the answer to the question is yes, I can have sex. Want to see some photos that might answer other questions? – Kyla Harris

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After her accident in 2000 at 15 years of age coming to reach her sexual maturity and understanding, strangers often questioned Kyla about her sexuality and whether she could have sex. Kyla felt it necessary to contradict the stereotype of people with disabilities as asexual, a notion she herself questioned after her own spinal cord injury disability. Kyla began to identify with her sexuality and noticed how it was being denied.

In 2006, Kyla Harris approached fellow Canadian artist photographer Sarah Murray to produce the works for Access Sex. The theme evolved to present sexuality and physical disability together – encouraging a general audience to look beyond the confines of the human body. The splendid body of works in Access Sex have been showcased in Vancouver and Toronto at the Main Artery, the Joseph D Carrier Gallery and “Nuit Blanche” in October 2009.

Art and sexuality cannot be separated or extracted from life, Kyla recalls, it made sense to me to explain that notion in reference to my own experiences.

The project Access Sex to me has been successful on many levels. I’ve met an amazing friend, Sarah, whom I respect personally and professionally, my perception of myself has become more positive and made me more passionate about my art and opinions, and I believe the photographs have made a variety of people aware that people with disabilities are sexual beings. Now my hopes are to expand Access Sex and continue to challenge pre-conceptions and stereotypes. – Kyla Harris

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Sexy wheelchair babe shivers in orgasm sitting on top of boyfriend in love swing suspended by personal patient hoist

Wheelchair Hoist Sex Swing

A wheelchair hoist sex swing helps wheelchair users enhance their sex life. Tetraplegics (quadriplegics) and paraplegics often find it difficult to achieve some sexual positions. Sex after a spinal cord injury is made hard by paralysis and poor mobility. The sex aids mentioned in our wheelchair sex article raised many questions. Here we take a closer look at a wheelchair hoist sex swing. Some paraplegics and most tetraplegics will already own a personal hoist and sling of some description. These make suitable assistive devices for intercourse and love making. Avoiding the expense of an actual sex swing.

Who Uses a Wheelchair Hoist Sex Swing

Sexy wheelchair babe shivers in orgasm sitting on her boyfriend in love swing suspended by personal patient hoist

Wheelchair hoist sex swing

By far the majority of wheelchair hoist sex swing users are regular able bodied heterosexual couples. They can however, be of great assistance to wheelchair users with paralysis. Like those with a spinal cord injury. A wheelchair hoist sex swing may be unknown to people with a disability. Few discuss sex with wheelchair users for fear of offending, or getting offended. Also, many hold the opinion disabled people don’t, or should not, have sex. Others believe all disabled people are oversexed. These misconceptions are slowly changing. We encourage healthy discussion on wheelchair sex life and sex after spinal cord injury. We promote the many beautiful aspects of disability.

Suited to lovers of different sizes and disabilities, it’s easy to adjust the height and angle of your body, in a wheelchair hoist sex swing. All without detracting from each other’s arousal. Quality sex swings offer neoprene padded supports for your butt and back, and stirrups for legs or feet. It’s just a matter of finding what suits you and your disability. Adult stores stock sex swings but we suggest searching online first. Research what type may best suit you. Buying online could save you time and money as well.

Why Use a Wheelchair Hoist Sex Swing

Sexy wheelchair lovers bouncing in love swing climax suspended by personal patient hoist

Wheelchair lovers climax in hoist sex swing

Difficult sexual positions are no longer exclusive to the athletic and sexually gifted. With a wheelchair hoist sex swing disabled couples can be more sexually adventurous. They can achieve stimulating sexual positions previously only imagined. Reap the benefits of pleasure a wheelchair hoist sex swing can arouse. A healthy imagination in lovemaking is key to generating pleasure. It helps to renew the desire for sexual intimacy. By experimenting with new positions in the bedroom, you can swing your love life into action. Enjoy weightless sex in unlimited positions. Explore your deepest fantasies.

Take a go slow approach until you are comfortable and confident. It is possible to overbalance in some sexual positions. You may slip right out of the wheelchair hoist sex swing harness performing others. A personal hoist sling can be of advantage in that respect. While not as many positions are achievable, they require minimal balance. Personal hoist slings are purpose designed to prevent from dropping a person, no matter their handicap.

Using a wheelchair hoist sex swing enhances disability sex life. They are not sleazy. They simply make sex with a disability easier. Wheelchair lovers are often amazed how easy these make sex. 

Challenging sex positions, that require exertion and skill, become easy using a wheelchair hoist sex swing. You can find the right angle to achieve deep penetration with minimal exertion. Sexual positions never felt so good effortlessly. Put more comfort and enjoyment into your disabled sex life. Swing into action and sex it up.

Wheelchair Hoist Sex Swing Components

Sex Swing: The sex swing is all you need. Optional extras are a heavy duty spring, frame and hoist. A good quality sex swing harness is made from neoprene padded adjustable ballistic weave nylon straps. These provide maximum comfort and strength. The swing costs around $120.00 USD.

Sex Swing Spring: A heavy duty high tensile steel spring is ideal for those with limited mobility, like quadriplegics, or tetraplegics. The spring helps to minimize the effort required to make rocking and bouncing motions. The average sex swing spring can suspend around 200 lbs. Your local hardware store may have a cheaper option. A sex swing spring costs about $180.00 USD.

Sex Swing Frame: The sex swing frame is like a tent frame. It is a free-standing rigid metal frame to suspend the sex swing from. Most sex swing frames hold up to 400 lbs. There are many types of frames ranging from $150.00 to $500.00 USD.

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Sex Swing Hoist: Some hang their sex swing from an eye-bolt in a doorway, ceiling joist, or beam over their bed. We recommended any eye-bolt installation be done by a qualified carpenter. Or you can hook the swing onto a hospital style, personal hoist. Take advantage of the hoists raising and lowering capability. If you don’t own a personal hoist, there are a few sex swing models that come with a hoist. Using a remote control you can raise and lower the swing effortlessly. Personal patient type hoists cost thousands. Sex swing hoists cost around $550.00 USD.

Already Have a Personal Hoist

Check the maximum weight rating before you go bouncing around in any hospital style, personal hoist. Remember safety first pumpkin. Position any personal wheelchair hoist sex swing over a bed. Or place something soft below you in case you fall. Keep a phone within reach. Just in case it all goes horribly wrong. Good luck explaining your dilema to emergency services lol.

Occasionally, both sexual partners have very limited mobility. Two tetraplegic (quadriplegic) lovers for example. They are restricted by poor hand and arm function. An electric battery powered patient hoist with remote control is ideal. It will help to make wheelchair hoist sex swing positions much easier. That is the purpose, easier love making for people with a disability.

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Some see a wheelchair hoist sex swing as nothing more than a kinky S&M bondage device. Strip teasing, pole dancing, a vibrator, these things are not everybody’s cup of tea. Personal hoists are used for transferring people with high level cervical C1-C7 tetraplegia. Paralyzed from a spinal cord injury, wheelchair users transfer into and out of bed etc, with a hoist. In the home however, a personal hoist can serve many purposes. Limited only by imagination. Most tetraplegics will already own a personal hoist and sling. These can be used as a wheelchair hoist sex swing. It’s just another perk of dating a tetraplegic.

Five Common Hoist Sling Types

Here are five common hoist sling types. Four are suitable for use as a wheelchair hoist sex swing. As an assistive device for sex and intimacy after spinal cord injury. The fast fit, and toileting (or dress) slings, offer the greatest freedom and sexual access. Hammock type slings are restrictive. Material covers the private areas. Hammock slings are fine for able bodied folks. Hammock slings are not well suited for sex with wheelchair users. Or any disability where a severely compromised range of motion, poor motor function, or extensive paralysis exists.

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By not crossing leg straps (sections that come up between the legs) legs spread wider apart in slings. This is great for sexual access, but it does create the risk, of slipping right through the sling. Lengthening top shoulder straps reclines a person into a flat supine (face up) or prone (face down) position.  This is good to hover your partner over you on a bed and rock back and forth.

Wheelchair Hoist Sex Swing Tips and Tricks

Sexy wheelchair lover spread legs in love swing suspended by personal patient hoist

Wheelchair lover in sex swing

The disabled wheelchair user does not always have to be the one in the sling. Switch it around and use your imagination. Try a 360 spinning motion if you dare. Climb in on top of your partner in your wheelchair hoist sex swing sling. Pushing the sides of a sling outward raises it a few inches. By pushing, and relaxing quickly, you can get a rhythmic bouncy motion going.

Try a little something new. Tie your disabed lover up and use the hoist to position them exactly where you want them. Blindfold and spank with a spatula lol. It’s all about having fun. Good love making begins in the brain hours before intercourse happens. Scented candlelight, massage, music, lingerie etc, all enhance the sexual experience. Get into the swing of it. For more tips on sex after spinal cord injury, and sex with a disability, see our wheelchair sex article.

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